Squirky's Aching Head

10 things about migraines

2011-12-26T13:29:00.000-08:00

Migraine sufferer and author/activist Teri Robert's "Top Ten Things I Want To Share About Migraines". It's a good list to read, print out, hand out to friends and families.

(Especially during this "holiday season" which tends to be a prime migraine time for many sufferers!)

L'il update

2011-10-10T10:02:00.000-07:00

I haven't been tracking my migraines lately. The good news is that I haven't really been getting any of the really bad four-day ones. When the medication doesn't work these days the migraine only lasts for a day or two. Like the bad one I got yesterday morning, which I think I probably could have prevented had I taken the meds in time, but I did my thing where I decide "I can beat it without the migraine medication, I'll just take some naproxin and black tea and go back to bed and be fine in and hour!" and then sure enough, a couple hours later, I realize I am NOT feeling better but worse, and THEN I take the triptan and anti-nausea, and it's too late and I start puking and can't leave my bed for a day-and-a-half.

BUT! It is about 24 hours later and I am up and about (well, sitting in front of the computer anyway) and I have eaten and kept down an egg, and I think I will shower now. The pain is at a bearable level so I think I can get into work today. Late, but I will be there.

I did three cycles with the estrogen patch days 14-28, then I just did two without it. (Actually I am at the tail end of the second one). I really don't think there is a huge difference. I have had to take just as much medication with or without, and each month I still have about one day or two when the meds don't work (usually just at the end of my period). I still need to check in with my obgyn and see what she thinks. I suspect she will say the estrogen isn't doing any good, because she didn't really believe it would help to begin with.

Once again I think the things that help me the most these days are: exercise (but not TOO much because that is a trigger for me!), no or very little caffeine, LOTS of water, and all the various supplements I am taking (magnesium, riboflavin, D, Co-Q10). I still want to get to the point where I never have to take ANY migraine medication, but right now I'm happy with the smaller amount I take each month.

My current migraine was probably a "perfect storm" type: it is the end of my cycle (days 25-26). On saturday I did a bunch of yardwork out in the sun (I often end up with a migraine after that because I tend to over-do it). Saturday night I went to a party and took it really easy (ONE glass of "organic sulfite-free white wine") but still, the stress of being social and then the disruption to my sleep schedule can both be triggers.

short update

2011-08-04T10:52:00.000-07:00

I haven't been posting lately, it's been a busy summer. Brief updates:

The jury is still out on the estrogen patch, I am going to try it for one more cycle (it will be #3) and then try to determine if it's really helping or not.

I managed to go on a 2 week road trip with the kids to see my family in the midwest, and only had to take a couple naratriptans! And I only threw up twice the whole time (the first night I believe) and managed to not miss ANY days due to being in bed in pain. Yay!

I'm still trying to exercise as often as I can, still just one green tea in the morning (usually), trying to drink lots of water. I haven't been so good with no sugar (gotta eat some ice-cream in the summer!).

I'm still having to take naratriptan every 10 days or so lately, but I haven't been in bed sick since the last one I wrote about. so yay for that.

But I did have to take one early this morning and now I am feeling mighty spaced-out so I think I need to stop writing for now. I will make more sense another time.

name that trigger!

2011-06-15T09:48:00.000-07:00

Saturday morning: applied my first estrogen patch. I am supposed to wear one for a week, then another for another week, then my period starts.

Saturday early afternoon: sunny weather so I did a bunch of much needed yard work, weeding and mowing and weed-whacking and such.

Saturday late afternoon: primed our new bathroom.

Saturday evening: went out for dinner, had one drink, hung out and played music with a friend until late. (But didn't really "party" since I knew I am in a "migraine danger zone".)

Sunday: painted the bathroom walls. I made sure to get "low voc" paint. But still, there were some fumes. Actually, on the way home from the paint store at 11 am Sunday morning I started feeling a migraine coming on so I took an Amerge (naratriptan) and was able to paint.

Monday morning: felt another migraine, took another Amerge, went to work, was sleepy all day but able to function mostly.

Tuesday morning: woke up at 2:30 am with more pain, took some ibuprofen and an anti-nausea, tried to go back to sleep. Ended up having to cancel lessons and work, in bed puking all day. Oh, I had to miss the last tap dance class of the session, also the last class before our recital. Feeling pretty bummed out about that.

Wednesday morning (that's today): still have pain, just tried eating an egg, waiting to see if it stays down. I went ahead and canceled my lessons for today. Bummer. The good news is that the guys who have been over at my house at 8 am every single freaking morning for the past two month or more (to work on the two bathrooms we are having remodeled) haven't showed up yet, and it's 10:00, so I've had a quiet morning for my recovery.

Oh, I think someone just turned up. damn. Will hurry and finish this..

What is the trigger? the estrogen patch? physical labor in the hot sun? painting? weather going from sun to rain to sun to rain? Not exercising enough? Everything combined?

warning signs

2011-06-08T11:52:00.000-07:00

Had to take another naratriptan today because I'm feeling mighty bad. Don't really know why. Boo. I have to work all day, too.

I just read a somewhat interesting article about migraine "warning signs". (found that link via the Migraine Research Foundation group on Facebook.) Not really anything I didn't already know, but maybe a good article for people less familiar with migraines?

I definitely yawn a lot before a migraine comes on, also I get confused easily (foggy brain) and can't think of words. And I feel really tired but can't sleep. And of course the good old nausea. Rarely do I get visual disturbances, but the few times I have they came right before REALLY REALLY bad pain. Now I know if I get the weird visual stuff to take medication immediately (and get myself to a safe place!)

slight set back but still good

2011-06-07T08:03:00.000-07:00

Had to take a naratriptan on Saturday night, boo! Luckily it worked. This migraine was caused by ME myself and I... I spent the day in the hot sun (what!?) doing vigorous yard work and not drinking enough water PLUS we went to the awful awful Home Depot WITH the kids along which caused me a lot of stress and I did a horrible job at de-stressing myself. I should know better.

But I slept druggily all night and felt better by morning. Although I really do NOT like the way this medication makes me feel.. better than a migraine though.

So boo, but yay because it has been so few this month! Still mostly yay for me.

A good stretch!

2011-06-03T08:16:00.000-07:00

I am probably jinxing myself by writing this, but I'm getting a little freaked out here... Since my long awful "medication overuse headache" (possibly?) in early May I have only had to take ONE naratriptan, and very little ibuprofen (just a couple for cramps one day). Oh, and this morning at 3 am I woke up feeling a migraine coming on (maybe?) and took some ibu and went back to sleep (eventually) and then woke up feeling fine!

So that is ONE triptan in one full month (instead of 4 - 9 in a month). Unheard of! Also I just made it through my period with no migraine. WTF?

So now I wonder, should I even try the estrogen patch this month? I guess I will because even though I just had a migraine-free cycle, 99% of my cycles have been bad bad bad, especially lately. (I keep reading that it is common for women's migraines to get WORSE in the years leading up to menopause. Excellent.) So I will try it. I have another week or so to think about it.

So what is different? I have been sticking to my "one cup green tea" in the morning, only occasionally indulging later in the day, or on "special occasions" like last weekend when we went out of town for a romantic getaway and I had a coffee with my breakfast. (But only ONE cup of coffee instead of refill after refill...) Also I'm trying really hard to get out and walk every morning. And I take my "raft of supplements" every day.

I think not consuming caffeine all day every day also helps with my stress level... I'm a lot calmer these days. (Duh. Like that old commercial - "too much caffeine makes me nervous!")

Gah, I really hope I'm not jinxing myself here! I want to record this "good stretch" so that's what I'm doing. I'll take the good!

Trying different approaches

2011-05-27T07:51:00.000-07:00

Often at this point in my cycle I wake up in the morning with a migraine, take the meds, feel better during the day and evening, go to sleep, wake up with migraine, take more meds, repeat repeat until I can't take any more medication.

Sometimes I can tell as soon as my head hits the pillow at night that I will be waking up very early with a migraine. It makes me feel like I don't even want to go to sleep, but of course at the same time I am usually exhausted and want nothing more than to sleep.

Last night I tried staying up a little later than usual, thinking I would then sleep later in the morning. I did! And then when I woke up feeling like maybe the migraine was coming on I got up and went for a walk. And so far it has not taken hold. Yay. Who knows what the rest of the day will bring (not to mention tomorrow or the next day...) but I just wanted to make note of this. Go to bed later, get up and walk as soon as awake, instead of lying in bed trying to sleep through oncoming pain and/or popping a pill as soon as the first twinge comes.

another cycle begins

2011-05-26T12:24:00.000-07:00

I have a low-dose estrogen patch to try with my NEXT cycle, but that won't be until June. (I missed the 14-day mark by the time I got it.) As for now, I have already had to take 1 naratriptan this morning. So we shall see how poorly this time goes. I'm supposed to have a fun weekend getaway with my honey so I'm really not wanting to be sick for that! I also don't want to get another nasty medication overuse headache, so I'm not quite sure how I am going to swing this. Stupid Memorial Day Weekend falling right during my Extreme Migraine Danger Zone (EMDZ!).

The good news is that for the past 16 days I have been PAIN FREE! I've been walking almost every day and only drinking ONE cup of green tea in the mornings. No sugar, an occasional beer. I think those little actions are helping. I'm still taking my raft of supplements. I'm considering adding butterbur to the raft but have read mixed results with that one. And I already take so many supplements as it is.

Yup.

Frustration

2011-05-11T08:26:00.001-07:00

I haven't been "blogging my migraines" for the last month because, oh, I just haven't. Writing the same thing over and over gets kind of old.

I just finished up a doozey of a migraine-bump-in-the-road. For the second time I followed my doctor's current advice and took the Amerge for 5 days before the start of my period. (And, actually took the meds because I was feeling the migraine coming on, so I don't think it was truly "prophylaxis"... I guess I'm confused about that.) So, this seemed to work okay. (I was able to go to work and function and be a good little member of society.) Then I started my period and had two days in which I did not feel migrainey at all. However, I DID take ibuprofen, since I was experiencing cramps. Then at about day 3 a wicked bad migraine started up and did not leave me for FOUR DAYS. It switched from one side of my head to the other as it usually does. I could take nothing, I could do nothing. Very hellish. Not fun. Not fun at all. And it made my family sad, which is the worst part.

So I am fairly certain that I must be experiencing "medication overuse headache". I am feeling very frustrated and hopeless right now, not sure which avenue to pursue next. I feel like these drugs are killing me. Like, literally killing me. (Dramatic!) I do not want to take them anymore. But then when the pain and nausea comes, I will do ANYTHING to make it all go away...

I just looked over my "goals" from the last time this happened in March, and I have to say, I did not do a very good job achieving any of them. My exercising routine went out the window because we are having our bathroom remodeled, so I had to be up and dressed and ready for the day much earlier in the morning than I am used to, (boo hoo poor me) so my morning walks stopped. My birthday and Easter came around, so there was much sugar to consume. My caffeine intake is about the same, one (or two) cups of tea in the morning and sometimes one in the afternoon, no coffee at all... But I still want to go down to zero. And the research was not so great, other than to read the confusing information that it IS commonly prescribed to take 5 days of the naratriptan for menstrual migraines, but at the same time it is recommended to never take any triptans for more than 2 days per week. wahhhh.

So my goals remain the same. Back to the exercising (I believe this really is the key, the missing link to feeling better! that's what THEY say, anyway), no sugar, no caffeine, more research, and check back in with all my various doctors and tell them I feel like I need to start over with my treatment because nothing is working!

AND... I've pretty much ruled out acupuncture for a variety of reasons I would like to write about when I have more TIME, but I still need to find the magical naturopath who can cure me with nature. I really want to be done with drugs. But the challenge is to find someone who actually knows what they are talking about... I don't want to be a "guinea pig" like I was the last time I worked with a naturopath. That experience was expensive and irritating.

It's My Party and I'll Puke if I Want To

2011-04-03T19:23:00.001-07:00

Once again I learn the lesson that it is very difficult for me to plan things in advance because of these stupid migraines.

After much going back and forth, I finally decided last Sunday to have a birthday party for myself on Saturday (last night). (My actual birthday is April 1st.) (42.) (yeah.) So I invited a bunch of people, and on Friday morning before work ran out and spent hundreds of dollars on booze and fancy party foods.

Saturday morning woke up feeling a little off but mostly okay, started cleaning my house*, then suddenly realized that a migraine was hitting me hard and fast. Took naratriptan. Took anti-nausea. Laid down on the sofa. Took a second naratriptan after the "allowed" 4 hour mark. Started puking. Pain. Drugs did nothing. Canceled my party.

It is Sunday night now and my head still hurts. Oh, I started my period this morning, a couple days early so I wasn't really prepared for it. Plus thinking about my party and busy week at work... I was just not thinking about dealing with a migraine. Which I should have known would come up. Duh. Because I get a migraine every single freakin' month during my period.

Part of the reason I had decided to plan a little party is that I feel like I rarely see my friends these days, often due to the fact that when there is some social even planned I am not feeling well enough to attend. So, yeah. Woo. Happy Birthday. It really sucked to have to call everyone and tell them not to come over.

Also I am sad that my fridge is filled with fancy cheeses which no one in my house will eat but me, and I cannot eat them right now (and probably shouldn't anyway because although I LOVE brie and such, it may not be the best thing for the migraine brain). I guess I can always invite people over another day. At least the booze will keep.

*I don't use any chemicals or commercially processed products for cleaning, so that was not a trigger. (I don't use that crap because I know it IS a trigger for me.)

cycle days 25 (or 26?) and 1
left side then right side

is it over NOW?

2011-03-18T09:49:00.000-07:00

I made it through yesterday until about 5 pm when the most painful icepick in the brain started to attack me during a piano lesson. Luckily that was my last lesson so I drove myself home crying the whole way (and only almost hit one pedestrian OOPS but she just appeared out of nowhere!) then I upset my hubby's children because I came into the house crying and moaning in pain and they are such sweet sensitive little guys and they didn't know what to do about me. The younger one lent me his #1 woobie (a gorilla named George) for comfort. What a sweetie.

Then I spent the night vomiting violently. Fun times.

But now it's morning and I am actually feeling better. So I will finish re-hydrating myself and go to work. I hope this round is over!

M.O.H.?

2011-03-17T09:59:00.000-07:00

argh and blah and wah! After my post on Tuesday about finally getting over a week of fighting migraine, it came back full on by the afternoon and I broke down and took an Imitrex (while I was sitting in my car waiting for my tap dance class to start). I was feeling SO BAD and in SO MUCH PAIN I just couldn't bear it. I took the medication even though I knew I wasn't "supposed to", after having taken naratriptan for almost a week. (I had a great tap class after that, although I was a wee bit spaced-out for it. But at least I wasn't puking while tapping.) Then Wednesday morning I woke up at 2 am and the pain was back so I took another. I was able to get through my day (I had to do the payroll for work, a day I absolutely cannot miss because I am the ONLY person who knows how to do it. Good job security, but bad when I feel sick)... I even felt pretty good by the afternoon!

And then this morning at about 2 am again: bam, pow, PAIN and nausea.

Yup, pain most likely returned because I have taken some sort of triptan or NSAID (that stands for "non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug" such as ibuprofen or naproxin) pretty much every single day for ... oh gosh, OVER a week. Probably about 10 days. So now I am probably experiencing what they call "MOH" which stands for "medication overuse headache".

So today I suffer. No more pills for Squirky. Although I must admit I am not feeling as bad as I was a few hours ago. I think I will even suffer my way into work in a little while. As long as I am not puking.

I'm disappointed because I had such a great month last month in terms of not taking very much medication. I feel like I let myself fall into a trap this past week. I have no one but myself to blame, as I am very (self)educated about most things migraine-related. The triptans are dangerous because they really do work (for most people, not for everyone) and sometimes they feel like a miracle drug. But it is becoming evident that MOH is a real problem with these drugs. (Evident to researchers in general, not just to me personally.) Migraine patients who are not very well educated (or whose physicians are not "educated" about triptans... or who won't or can't take the time to discuss side effects with their patients) can fall into the trap of taking too much medication because, hey, it works! And then the more they take the more they need...

I must not be feeling too bad right now because I am able to think a little bit. When I am full on in a bad migraine I cannot function. I can't sit up, think, talk, do anything. yay. I am sitting up and thinking and typing. Making sense? I can't tell.

OK so my goals for this month (by month I mean "menstrual cycle" as that is how I track my migraines) are as follows:

1. Get back into exercising every single day, even if it means walking in the cold rain. (I haven't been walking because it is raaaaiiiiining. boo hoooo)
2. Cut back on caffeine even further... try to eliminate it completely. (I have been doing well with the caffeine, but I'm not all the way off it yet.)
3. No sugar. (I have been eating a little bit of sugar lately. I can't resist the Easter candy! But I suspect my migraine-brain does not like it as much as my pleasure centers do.)
4. More research! Especially about amount of naratriptan to take, and about MOH.

the end. for today.

bad week, or good?

2011-03-15T09:52:00.000-07:00

I just finished up a week of taking a lot of medication, but managed to not be overcome by migraine, so it was bad and good. At my ob/gyn's recommendation I am now trying out naratriptan (generic for Amerge) which is yet another triptan (along the lines of Imitrex, Maxalt, Zomig... all of which I have taken!) She told me to take it for max 5 days in a row during my menstrual migraine time. I did that this month, and seem to have avoided being in bed for days. I actually did not, however, take it as a "prophylaxis" (as she instructed), but rather took it because I was feeling the migraine coming on. She said that this medication lasts a little bit longer than the sumatriptan, which is what I had been asking my neurologist about. Also, for some reason it is "okay" to take this one for 5 days rather than just 2 days like the other triptans I've tried(??) (I need to do a little more research on my own about this! Even though I have been told it is okay by a physician and two different pharmacists...) Once again I wonder why my neurologist did not recommend this medication or even know it was an option. My ob/gyn told me that she did consult my neuro and got the "ok" from her. I am probably not going to see this neurologist again, even though she is a very nice person. I suppose that even though she is a neurologist that doesn't necessarily mean she is an expert on migraine disease. There are (unfortunately) a lot of neurological disorders out there!

So, in conclusion, I'm glad I didn't have to get sick this month, but I did not enjoy taking all that medication.

Of course I guess I'm not out of the woods yet because I can't take anymore of ANYTHING for at least another week (according to all the warning labels and informational literature) so if a migraine reappears I am screwed. Yippee!

updates and meds and a good book

2011-03-01T08:02:00.000-08:00

Got my usual "mid-cycle" migraine, took 2 sumatriptans in 24 hours and then took some ibuprofen the next day and made it through. Yay. It had been about 15 days with no hint at migraine, so I feel good about that!

I am waiting to hear back from both my obgyn and neurologist (they are actually communicating with each other! amazing!) about taking "low dose" Imitrex during my menstrual cycle, so I can take it for more than 2 days. Don't know if the low dose will do anything, but I am going to give it a try. I feel frustrated that this is something that exists but my neurologist never mentioned it, only my obgyn came up with the idea. It is 25 mg dose instead of 100, so one can take it over more days before reaching the 300mg max per week.

My neurologist prescribed some crazy barbituate/acetaminophen/caffeine pill to take as a last resort when I am sick in bed and everything else has failed and I am in the intense unbearable pain world. But my goal is to not have to take this of course!

Really I want to get away from all medication! I am feeling pretty good about how few imitrexes I have had to take over the last couple months.

It is challenging to get exercise right now because of the pouring down cold rain. I do my yoga in my livingroom each morning, but the walking is important. No, I will not consider joining a gym or a class at this time. Other than my TAP CLASS of course. I love my tap class! Once spring arrives I can ride my bike again. (I will not ride in the rain or the cold or the dark. I don't care if other people do it. I will not.)

I don't have the energy right now to talk about the whole hormone issue or the whole "going to see someone else's doctor" issue or the whole "but have you tried this or this oh you SHOULD DO [fill in the blank]" issue.

A great new migraine book: The Woman's Migraine Toolkit by Marcus and Bain. I just finished reading it cover to cover. Since it was published in 2010 it has very updated information. (The "medical profession's" understanding of migraine disease has been evolving rapidly over the past several years, so if you read a book that was published in the late 1990s or early 2000s it is likely to contain very out of date and even incorrect information.) This book will be a good resource for me to return to again and again, much like my other favorite migraine book The Migraine Brain. "The Woman's Migraine Toolkit" focuses on migraine in women (sorry fellas!), so there is much discussion of the role of hormones at each stage of life (puberty, "childbearing years" [ugh], and menopause). I should probably find some time to write a better and more informative review of this book. But that time is not now.

Quick observation

2011-02-15T13:17:00.001-08:00

When I was in my 30s, medical-type people were always telling me "Don't worry, once you get pregnant your migraines will go away." Now that I am in my 40s they are telling me "Don't worry, once you go through menopause your migraines will go away."

Sigh.

2-9 & 10- 2011 and update

2011-02-10T11:34:00.000-08:00

Once again, 2 days pre-period of medications, then had to stop taking the meds and just "enjoyed" a day in bed vomiting. This seems to be my cycle now. I don't think it was always so consistent in the past... I would not ALWAYS get a migraine during my period. Just sometimes. But lately that is always the case. Is it a pre-menopause thing? I wonder!

Good news is that when I do get a migraine these days I am only in bed for a day or a day-and-a-half instead of 3-4 days. Also I feel pretty good about how well I managed my migraines this past month. I only had to take 1 Imitrex in the middle of my cycle (the "ovulation migraine" that no doctor seems to believe could exist) and other than before and during my period I've been migraine free!

I have been exercising almost every day. Of course for me "exercising" means walking briskly for 20-30 minutes, which isn't all that intense, but I believe that it helps me. I've also started taking tap dance class which is super fun and something I had been wanting to do for a long time. It really puts me in a great mood! Now I just need to start practicing at home...

Every day I take: a multi vitamin, riboflavin, Co-Q10 enzyme (I think that's what it is called), D3, and magnesium. Are they making a difference? Perhaps! Who knows! I need to learn more about what time of day is best for each of these, and also appropriate dosage and formulas. For example, there are several types of magnesium, plus I have read it is necessary to take it with calcium AND I have also read that it is bad to take it with calcium. As usual I'm confused about everything. (Yes, I still need to find a naturopath to work with me. Yes yes I have lots of numbers and recommendations from friendly and helpful friends and acquaintances. I can't really complain because it's all down to me. I just need to do it. Make an appointment. I don't know what my damn problem is sometimes. )

I have also been cutting way back on caffeine. No coffee at all, and one cup of black tea in the mornings, and sometimes one cup of black or green in the afternoons. I still want to get down to zero caffeine.

I have been trying to not eat sugar, some days are good and some are not so good. I really want to make valentine's cookies with the kids this weekend so it will be a challenge for me to abstain.

I emailed my neurologist and my obgyn to express my continued frustration with my menstrual migraines and to ask for more ideas. (Still waiting for a response, but it has only been one day.) A friend of mine gave me the number for her gynecologist who did hormone testing for my friend, and the treatment she developed for her is working out great. I would love to go see this physician, but of course she is not in my "network" so I would have to pay a lot to go, and I currently have full health insurance paid by my hubby's work so it seems kind of silly to put myself in debt. But then again some would argue that it would be "worth it" to get rid of the migraines! And I agree. It is just complicated for me. So I am attempting again to get my obgyn to help me out with hormonal stuff. Then perhaps save my lunch money and go elsewhere.

Ok rambling is over.

cycle days 26, 27, 28
right side, left side

the usual bad times

2011-01-16T11:17:00.000-08:00

So once again, 3 days of taking Maxalt before my period, then had to stop taking it (plus it seemed to stop being effective) once my period actually started (since that is the limit one can take, or so they say) and I got to enjoy 1-1/2 days of bed-bound puking and pain. I am finally coming out of it (I hope!) here on Sunday morning.

Next month as my cycle begins I think I will simply not take any medication, since I seem to end up with the migraine anyway these days. It's very depressing.

Now I will return to re-hydrating myself.

update and today

2011-01-12T08:26:00.000-08:00

I haven't been tracking in here. Let's see, last month I took 4 Maxalts on the 4 days leading up to my period starting, then finally on day 1 of my cycle had to just have the damn migraine because I had already taken too much medication. So I missed a day of work.

Then I got into a conversation with a student's mom about how "going grain free" is the answer to everyone's health problems (in her opinion). That is "grain free" not just "gluten free". I really do not believe there is ONE answer to ALL health problems. I want to write more about this once I am feeling better.

Because today I feel crappy. It is cycle day 27. I took a maxalt this morning, and an anti-nausea. I hope it will not be a repeat of last month. Sunday is the annual "holiday party" for my work (we have it the day before MLK day and then close MLK Day so everyone can recover. we don't have the holiday party during the actual "holiday season" because we are a retail business and can't really afford to lose anyone due to hangovers or whatever during that time!)... LAST year (as well as three years ago) I missed it due to a bad migraine. I cannot miss it this year. I will probably be fired and lose all my friends.

Mostly this past month wasn't too bad, though. I got my usual mid-cycle migraines which responded to the sumatriptan. I think I only had to take 2 this month, up until today. Yay.

I am trying to walk on as many days as possible (but still need to do more... more walks and longer walks too...) Also cutting way back on caffeine, but not completely out yet, I just can't seem to do it - I have been drinking tea instead of coffee, though, so that's something? right? Plus I don't drink caffeine all day long, just one in the morning and one in the afternoon maybe. It's better! It is! Also I am (again and again for the millionth time) tracking my daily food and drink, exercise, medications, etc.

cycle day 27
left side

lotsa pain

2010-12-07T06:47:00.000-08:00

Last week: wed, thurs, and friday took sumatriptan each morning and successfully avoided the migraines. Saturday and Sunday took naproxin because I couldn't take more suma and my head was still hurting. Yesterday morning (Monday) woke up with the worse pain behind my right eye so stayed home from work and in bed all day. But I did not vomit once! Hurrah! I did take the anti-nausea meds, so maybe occasionally they do something. Now it is Tuesday morning and my head still hurts. I am trying to eat some food and drink a little black tea. I may be coming out of it, I hope. I am praying it doesn't move to the other side of my head, as it almost always does. A girl can hope.

When I am lying in bed in pain with migraine for days on end I usually keep OPB radio on. For some reason I prefer to have the babble of voices talking instead of music. But it gets annoying because I hear the same news stories over and over. Don't know why I felt compelled to mention that, maybe because I can hear my radio still playing from the other room.

I think I will go get back into the bed for a while and maybe feel better to go to work today. The more work I miss the more stress I feel and the more migraines I get. It's a vicious circle.

What are the triggers this time? I can only think of stress, and not getting much exercise the past week, and we made cookies so I ate a lot of sugar (which I am not positive is a trigger but it is good to note).

12 2 10

2010-12-02T08:27:00.000-08:00

This morning was pretty much exactly like yesterday, as I expected. Except I bypassed any attempts to take OTC meds and just went straight for the prescription stuff.

Hopefully this is just a two day thing. I can't take anymore sumatriptan tomorrow!

cycle day 16

Oh, and I just have to add (and I know I've said this many times before), as I look back over my years of charting my migraines as they relate to my menstrual cycle, I very often (almost always) get migraines in the middle of my cycle, which is around the time women generally ovulate (days 14, 15, around there). But none of my "western medicine" physicians, not even my gynecologist who supposedly knows something about female hormones, seem to think there is a connection. My gyn even said "I don't know WHY you would get migraines in the middle of your cycle, that doesn't make sense." Doesn't it make sense that since hormones are a trigger for me, and my hormones are fluctuating at that time of the month, that is the trigger??? argh! Also I still believe that my hormonal migraines are somehow related to my "unexplained infertility" (actual label from the fertility clinic) but I cannot get ANY medical type person that I've seen, western or eastern or "natural", on board with this theory. Which doesn't really matter at this point anyway because I'm almost 42 and pretty much done with all that baby-wanting business.

THE END of this post.

12 1 10

2010-12-01T09:16:00.000-08:00

I made it through the holiday weekend with no migraines. Yay! (I also didn't deal with any family, friends, cooking, or stress, so maybe that was a big part of staying pain-free.)

But I have been fighting a bad cold.

This morning I woke up at my usual 4 am migraine hour and tried something that I did last week with some success: I ate a little food (just a handful of cereal and half a banana, just something in my tummy) and took 2 naproxins and an anti-nausea and then went back to bed. Last week when I tried this is worked great! I avoided a migraine, and didn't have to feel my heart attempt to explode from the sumatriptan. But this morning I absolutely could not fall back to sleep, and instead of feeling better my head started to hurt worse. So at around 7:30 I gave in and took a sumatriptan, got back into bed for the second time with an ice cube wrapped in a washcloth pressed against my eye socket, and by about 8:00 felt much "better" - ie head not hurting so much. Now it's druggy and off to work for me. A good little productive member of society.

My neurologist responded to my plea for something more effective for my menstrual migraines... she says that Maxalt is the one that works best at that time. Yes, Maxalt which I took for several years with not always the best results (especially during my period). My insurance doesn't cover Maxalt any longer because it is too expensive, but she did the special doctor thing where she tells them I need it absolutely so now they will cover it in small quantities. So now I have lots of drug choices. I would still like to find a nice non-drug choice of course. How about that acupuncture thing I keep thinking about? Yup, just gotta make a damn appointment. I am pretty bad about things like that. Picking up the phone.

cycle day 15

Trying to listen to my "migraine brain"

2010-11-19T06:25:00.000-08:00

Last night I went to bed an hour later (11 instead of 10), so this morning instead of waking up at 4 with my head hurting I woke up at 5. Huh! I lay there for an hour then got up. 6:00 is actually "morning" so it seemed like an okay thing to do. (Generally, when my "migraine brain" is not acting out, I don't seem capable of becoming conscious before 7 or 7:30.)

I can't take anymore sumatritptan this week so I decided to try doing some yoga. I did a whole bunch of "sun salute" routines, the only thing I remember how to do from my years of yoga classes year ago. "Sun Salute" seems silly when there is no sun, but whatever. While I was doing the yoga I was able to focus my attention away from the oncoming pain, but as soon as I stopped I became aware of my head again.

I finally gave in to the lure of "OTC" pain meds and took 2 naproxins, something I haven't taken in years so I thought I'd see if it helps at all. But: Must not fall into the trap of taking otc medications, because that will lead to rebound headaches. Plus it is BAD for the body. I know this. My brain doesn't seem to care about the rest of my body during migraine attacks.

So now I am thinking about getting back into the bed because it is cold, I am cold, and my body wants to sleep some more. But my brain absolutely does not want to go back to sleep, and I am trying to listen to my Migraine Brain because if I give it what it wants maybe it will give me what I want. Which is no more pain. And no nausea would be nice, too. Thanks.

cycle day 3

11-18-10

2010-11-18T08:25:00.000-08:00

See yesterday. Same deal. I am not "supposed" to take any more sumatriptan so if it is the same deal tomorrow morning I'm f'd. Yay.

11 17 10

2010-11-17T14:24:00.000-08:00

Yup, had to take lots of meds this morning. Plus cramps and a cold-or-allergies on top. yay.

cycle day 1

same but different

2010-11-16T20:22:00.000-08:00

So this morning I woke up at 3 am as usual, feeling the headache coming on, but I also felt the period coming on (which turned out to be a false alarm, or else it has been taking the entire DAY to actually start) (it has started)... But as I lay there I realized that my head wasn't actually hurting all THAT bad. I did take an anti-nausea because I was feeling nauseous, but I decided to try NOT taking the sumatriptan immediately. Instead I took some ibuprofen (mostly because I was experiencing some cramps). I managed to fall back to sleep and did not get the migraine! woo.

But I DID manage to feel like absolute CRAP for the entire day, but I think it was because I am either: a.) coming down with the cold I know will get me eventually, or b.) experiencing some sort of horrible allergy thing. My sinuses are KILLING me and nose running, the whole deal.

But I didn't get a migraine today! Yay!

Whenever I get some sort of "normal" illness like a cold or stomach flu it is always a strange experience for me. Because I generally don't get sick very often, just the migraine sickness every 12 days or so.

Ok, hope I'm not back here tomorrow with a meds-taking update.

11 15 10

2010-11-15T08:19:00.000-08:00

Cycle day 29. Or day 1 if I start my period today (which I probably will). Woke up at 3 am and took all the meds. Heart is racing, I feel anxiety over a lot of things right now. Went for a short walk this morning but it was difficult. I need a relaxing vacation. It's going to be tough to get through today.

11-9-10

2010-11-09T08:03:00.000-08:00

The usual: This morning woke around 3 (usually it's around 4 but we set our clocks back on Sunday so my body probably still thought it was 4) and felt the nausea and headache. Sometimes it is really challenging to make the decision of whether or not to take all the medications. Because on occasion I do manage to go back to sleep and the migraine doesn't get me. Or I get up and walk around and drink some water and feel better. But sometimes those things don't work and if I wait too long before taking the meds they won't do anything and I'll be in bed for 2 days. So it's always a gamble! This morning I decided to take the anti-nausea and the sumatriptan, and as I was lying there waiting for the drugs to kick in I actually started to feel like maybe I didn't need to take them afterall (but, too late, haha). It is so hard to tell sometimes. I know that might sound ridiculous. It could just be that I never WANT to take the medication, so I try to talk myself out of it. But then when the migraine gets me I will do ANYTHING to make it stop. I know I've said all this before.

So what was trigger? It is cycle day 23, a time when I do often get migraines. I had one glass of "organic sulfite-free" red wine last night which I have drank before with no migraine (as long as I only have one glass of course). I ate the leftover Vietnamese food, so I am really wondering if they do use msg because I had a migraine coming on the morning after I had it for dinner (uh, was that Saturday?) I did not drink any green tea yesterday but I did have some black tea, although not very much.

I am keeping my little "food and drink" diary again (just started it again yesterday). It's so challenging. I tend to nibble on lots of little things throughout the day.

I started to do a little research online about green tea causing migraines and of course, like everything, I found that it does for some people and does not for others. (I actually found one blog in which the blogger said she thought green tea is a trigger for her and an anonymous commenter said something to the effect of "are you a f'n idiot?" ... man I wish I could find the entry now because it was pretty incredible to me that someone would say something like that in response to someone else's musings about what might be causing her pain but I guess that's what the Internet is all about! Being really mean anonymously!) ANYWAY like all things migrainey, there are many many differences of opinion and different experiences, but I did find an interesting website* about tannins (in food and drink) and phenolics (in chemical products like cleaners and also food additives) which many believe to be migraine triggers (especially in combination with other triggers, such as hormonal fluctuations or weather changes).

Yes, of course coffee and tea contain tannins. I don't know if I am going to go crazy with eliminating everything (bananas? I eat a banana pretty much every single day so I really don't think bananas are a trigger for me) but I am going to be aware of things that I consume that may contain tannins and see if there is any connection.

*be warned that the tannins website is poorly organized, hard to read, and created by someone who is NOT a scientist or a doctor, and by the looks of it they created it in the 1990s. But the lists are helpful, I think.

cycle day 23
left side, right side (it moved after taking the meds)

11 7 10

2010-11-07T16:17:00.000-08:00

I should just cut and paste from all my other entries:

Woke up, felt the BLAH coming on fast, took the meds, felt druggy, felt better as the day went on.

I don't know what the triggers might have been for this one. Yesterday was Saturday. I did a lot of stuff "for me" around the house, practiced piano and ukulele, went for a nice walk. No stress! Mr G and I went out for Vietnamese food (delicious!), I drank one beer with dinner. We watched "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" and then went to bed.

I did eat a lot of sugar yesterday. Also I drank some green tea in the afternoon, which I am beginning to suspect might be a trigger, but I have never read anything about that being a common trigger. (Must do some obsessive internet research on that one!) It just seems to me that sometimes when I drink green or oolong tea in the afternoon I get a migraine the next day. Coincidence? This is worth tracking. It would be a bummer because I like green tea a lot.

I have not been drinking coffee, but am still having some black tea in the mornings.

Hmm, maybe the Vietnamese food had msg in it? Although it was at a hip place on Hawthorne, so I kind of doubt it.

It is cycle day 21 (I'm pretty sure...?)

Changes of weather?

Too many variables.

11 2 10

2010-11-02T08:09:00.000-07:00

Well, I've managed to go about 12 days with out taking a sumatriptan. But I felt the need to take one at 4:44 this morning. Now my heart hurts and I'm druggy but my head does not hurt and I am not throwing up and I will be able to be a productive member of society today.

I'm pretty sure the trigger was that I went out to see a show last night, something I rarely do these days (because it is often a migraine trigger). I got home late, didn't sleep very well. I made a point not to drink at the show because I knew that would only make the possibility of migraine worse. Now I wish I had lived it up a little more!

The show was Gary Numan, and it was pretty amazing. He played for almost 2 hours solid. Pretty good for an "old dude" heh heh. (He's only 52, these days that's not too old to rock out!)

I don't think the strobe lights and smoke machines helped my migraine any, though.

Sleeping didn't really work out for me last night/this morning because of the migraine coming on, then the drugs, and then the mouse who is living in our house and has moved upstairs. We can hear it but can't seem to catch it.

I really would LIKE to sleep some more...

oh well...

cycle day 16

updates

2010-10-23T12:58:00.001-07:00

It has been a while since I've updated this. Not because I haven't been fighting off any migraines, but because I had family in town, then had a busy time catching up at work, so the blogging became not so important.

I am just now recovering from a bad but thankfully brief (2 days) migraine. It has actually been about 2 months (can that be right??) since I've been in bed puking for 3 days, so I'm pretty happy about that. But I have been taking tons of sumatriptan, and I'm not so happy about THAT. Especially last cycle... I took the meds for a total of 8 days over my 29 day cycle. (My average seems to be about 4 or 5 days). It's too much. Thankfully it always defeated the migraine. But it's still a lot.

This cycle was my second try with taking the low dose estrogen for the week before my period. I had about the same results as last time, although I did NOT have a migraine nor feel the need to take any medication during the week leading up to it. So that was positive. However I did get a migraine 3 days in, which is pretty usual for me. So maybe this whole estrogen thing just isn't working.

Now I need to check in with all my various doctors again and see what they think.

I am also taking the following supplements daily:
magnesium
riboflavin
CoQ10
D3
a multivitamin
melatonin before bed

I am easing off the caffeine... have not been drinking any coffee but am still having small amounts of black or green tea in the mornings. I hope to take a complete break from caffeine eventually. It's gonna be tough, what with the dark dreary wet cold days of winter approaching...

I am trying to exercise every day. I'm trying! I don't quite manage it every day. Especially when I get a migraine and feel like crap then need a couple days to recover. It's tough. But I am working on it. In fact, I think I will go for a walk right now because the sun just peeked out!

cycle day 2: took sumatriptan, defeated migraine

cycle days 3 and 4: took another suma, it did nothing, in bed for 2 days.

pain on left side and then right side. also both sides for a while, which is unusual.

good day, bad day, good day, bad day

2010-10-01T09:46:00.001-07:00

Yesterday felt great all day, went for my morning walk, started my Yet Another Migraine Food Diary Or Whatever You Want To Call It. Only had ONE cup of coffee and NO other caffeinated beverages. Had no alcohol or sugar, no greens (boo) but did eat veggies and rice and tempeh and turkey (not all at once). Wasn't stressed out. Had energy.

This morning I woke up with the start of a very bad feeling migraine YET AGAIN. I ended up taking a sumatriptan BECAUSE: my parents are arriving today, I am picking them up from the airport, then we have a beach house reserved for the weekend. Before all that happens I need to clean the house a bit, oh and go to work for a few hours. (But I swear I do not feel stressed-out about all this at all!) Not a good day/weekend to be in bed throwing up. So at 5 am I took the drugs. Now I feel crappy in the whole other way, but my head does not hurt (as much - still does a little, truth be told) and I am able to function and be productive. Slowly.

All these times I have taken the migraine medications (and they actually worked) are days I probably would have ended up in bed for 3 days, like I did back before I was taking major pharmaceuticals (such as when I was trying to get pregnant and also when I had no health insurance to pay for the $400/month meds). So I do feel like these medications are kind of a miracle. But the long term effects? What will those be? ergh.

Oy and my brain is mighty foggy right now and it's time to go to work. Apologies if none of what I wrote above made any sense.

cycle day 13
right side

thoughts

2010-09-30T08:29:00.000-07:00

Ok. Time to call the troops back and regroup a bit.

I don't think the estrogen thing really worked. My gyn felt doubtful about it, and she said I could try it for one more cycle if I want to, but I don't know if I will. I have a couple more weeks to decide.

I have been taking way too much of the sumitriptan over the last couple weeks. I'm afraid I am going to get a rebound headache, or my heart is going to stop working.

I still need to touch bases with my neurologist and find out about other "abortive medication" possibilities.

I am starting yet another migraine diary: not a blog, but a little pen-and-paper notebook I carry around with me and write down everything I consume, do, think... I've tried this numerous times over the past bajillion years and never felt like it gave me any useful information, but I am going to try it again anyway. I am going to try eliminating some things from my diet and see if that helps at all. ...

...starting with caffeine, finally. I really feel that eliminating it in the past didn't change anything with my migraines, but I am going to try it again. I think it would be good to detox from it anyway just for general health reasons, and if it helps my migraines then that will be a bonus! Plus I don't like feeling so addicted to something. But I do love coffee and tea so much. SO much. Decaff doesn't quite cut the mustard for me, taste-wise. (Plus it still has caffeine in it so my goal is to not even drink decaff.)

I might have to start all this in force in the middle of next month, however, because my parents are coming for a visit for 10 days which means lots of going out for meals and such. I want to be able to enjoy my time with them and not feel so miserable and deprived!

Ok there is more but I am running late now. Which has been part of my problem lately, I'm sure: STRESS.

I have been walking almost every day! So that is good!

update

2010-09-23T20:47:00.000-07:00

Ergh, haven't been keeping up on my migraine tracking here. I've had to take 2 sumatriptans in the past 3 days, one on Tuesday and Thursday (today). (days 3 & 5 of my cycle.) Plus two on the first two days of taking the estrogen. So that's about the same amount as I normally end up having to take around the time of my period (without taking extra estrogen), although I didn't end up having to miss any days due to medication NOT working. So that's something, I guess.

I am really hating the way the sumitriptan makes me feel. My heart really feels like it will explode or stop or something bad like that.

So now I need to email my gyn and see if she thinks I should try again next month with the estrogen, and email my neuro and see if I have other less heart-stopping options for medication. (I know the insurance company wants me to take the sumitriptan because it is generic and therefore the cheapest. Insurance companies are pretty much heartless bastards. But we all know that.)

And, I will continue to try to get regular exercise and take my supplements and research alternative ways to manage this stupid condition.

cycle days 3 and 5

still no good

2010-09-17T08:05:00.000-07:00

uuuhhhggghh. What day is it?

Felt crappy all day yesterday. Finally took a Sumatriptan at about 6:30 last night. Felt super druggy all evening, all night, and now at 8 the next morning. But headache went away.

Last night I told Mr G "When I am having a migraine I feel like I want to die. When I am taking the Sumatriptan I feel like I am going to die." As in my heart is going to explode. I need that heart! I don't like the way I feel on this drug (sumatriptan/imitrex). But do I like staying in bed throwing up and in intense pain for 3 days? No. Which is worse?

Anyway. I don't know if this whole estrogen thing is working. I am going to ride out this week and see how it goes then touch bases with my gyn and my neuro. But I can't take any more sumatriptan this week, so if the headache continues/returns I'm screwed.

Plus the weather has become rainy and muggy/humid which can't be helping my head at all.

Last night as I was taking my nightly magnesium I thought "Yeah, THIS is sure doing me a lot of good! I'm so glad I take all these supplements every day!" (Extremely sarcastic tone on that of course.) But then it occurred to me that maybe if I wasn't taking all these supplements (the magnesium, the B2, the D3, the melatonin) maybe I would be getting MORE migraines or WORSE migraines? It could be! I think I will hold that belief, so that I can feel like I am not wasting a lot of money on this stuff.

cycle day 24/25 - that is to say I took the drug on 24 at night but today is 25

hmm.

2010-09-15T08:06:00.000-07:00

Took my first low-dose estrogen pill last night (cycle day 22) with dinner, around 7:30. Woke up around 1 am with bad migraine coming on. Took all the usual migraine meds. Had a bad night's sleep. Now feel mega-blah. And today is a day I have to do the payroll at work! Plus I am starting a bunch of new students! Lots of brain-power required! Yippee!

So.... did the estrogen trigger a migraine? Or something else? (I did have one glass of red wine with dinner... but it was organic "sulfite-free" wine which I had had before with no problems...supposedly it's the sulfites that can trigger migraines. My Russian Neurologist says [in Russian accent] "Is okay to drink wine. You find the wine with no sulfites. Is okay!" Mostly I just avoid it at all costs. But I found this stuff at the Trader Joes and thought I would give it a try!)

I guess I will just see how the rest of the week goes. If I end up having to take a boat load of Imitrex even though I am taking the estrogen, I guess I won't take the estrogen. Because that is the whole point, to PREVENT the migraines! Duh. But I will just see how it goes.

I will write more about what my gyn told me about the estrogen at a later date when I am not feeling so blechy and so BUSY...

cycle day 22/23

Hike migraine

2010-09-13T12:49:00.000-07:00

Saturday went for a long, hot hike straight up a mountain and then back down. The migraine started about the time I reached the bottom. Took a sumatriptan and anti-nausea, lay down for a while, drank some black tea, felt better by evening. (I know the triggers were: physical exertion, too much sun, not enough food.)

Saw my new OB/GYN this morning (I love her!) and got a prescription for very low dose estrogen to take the week before my period starts. I will start it tomorrow! And see how it goes...

8/30-31

2010-08-31T08:18:00.000-07:00

Felt fine all day yesterday but by the end of the day was feeling that kind of pre-migraine droopy feeling. Arrived home from work to discover that Mr G's kids were staying the night, which is GREAT, I LOVE having them over, but my stress level went up a bit (it is unavoidable). Ate a big dinner hoping that lack of food was part of my problem, but then realized that I probably needed to take some meds. Took a sumitriptan (generic Imitrex) and an anti-nausea at around 7, we all sat down to watch "The Great Muppet Caper" and I started feeling worse and worse! Even the Muppets couldn't make me feel better. At around 8:30 I got in the bed. I was feeling very druggy but still had a lot of pain. Also my heart was hurting. NOT GOOD. But I was so desperate. At around 10:30 I took a second sumitriptan. I managed to fall asleep and woke up at 3:00 am with the pain gone but SO VERY THIRSTY so I got up and drank a bunch of water. Also I was feeling very very "druggy". And itchy. This is a new thing: I have been itchy in 2 specific areas, the places where "waste goes out". (I don't think I want to use more specific terms because 1. I don't want creepy google searches to find me and 2. it's gross to talk about!) I think I am experiencing a weird side effect from this medication. I need to ask my doctor about this. It is annoying.

Anyway, it was a mighty rough night. I am feeling okay this morning, not 100%, but able to deal with my day. I think.

cycle day 7

Vitamin D?

2010-08-27T09:19:00.000-07:00

When I had my initial appointment with my new primary care provider last year she tested me for vitamin D deficiency and found me to be deficient. Apparently that is the "new" thing everyone is being tested for (and being found deficient). She recommended I take vitamin D supplements. I pretty much laughed it off and ignored that advice, and instead stopped using so much sunblock this summer and tried to get more sun. And then kind of forgot about the whole thing, chalking it up as simply being the "supplement du jour" and figuring the next time I see her she will tell me to take some other kind of vitamin.

Yesterday I received a nice card from Mr G's step-mom (my... "step-mother-in-law"??) with a little advice column article she had clipped from a newspaper in which someone had written in to say that since they started taking vitamin D supplements their migraines went away, and the writer wanted to know if there is a connection. The newspaper advice-doc said something to the effect of "oh, well, maybe, who knows." So of course I got right on the ol' Internets and immediately found many many articles about how people with migraines do tend to be deficient in vitamin D, and many medical professionals believe there is a connection between vitamin D deficiency and all kinds of pain-related issues. (Interestingly, when I did a search on Health Central.com/migraine, the articles that came up first were all about vitamin D supplements being a migraine trigger.) The funny thing is, the few articles I quickly skimmed for my half-assed research on this topic were all written in the early 2000s! So it is not like this is a new concept.

I suppose it does make sense that I would be deficient in vit D, since I live in the Pacific NW and don't get too much sun on a regular basis, and I don't really eat most of the foods that contain it: fish (only occasionally); milk (hate it unless it is in ice-cream form); swiss cheese (don't care for it particularly); liver, beef (I don't eat any mammals*); egg yolks (I DO eat eggs frequently, so that is good!) .... and so on.

It's really HARD to eat all the things one is "supposed to" eat! I'd be so happy if I could remain healthy on a diet of bread, cheese, coffee, and chocolate. (Maybe I should move to France?)

So.... I am going to add some vitamin D to my growing list of supplements I take. I know that too much vitamin D can be toxic... I am going to go with what my doctor originally recommended and see if that helps me at all! (But I am still going to beg my gynecologist for some hormone therapy when I see her next month....)

(Yes, I know, I am still looking for that ONE magic bullet of a cure. And I know it does not exist, it is all a rich tapestry. But a girl can dream, can't she?)

*added later: As I wrote this I realized that my migraines started up right around the time I stopped eating mammals, when I was in my late teens. I have eaten birds and fish on and off over the years (lately I eat them fairly regularly), but no mammal protein since I was about 18. Now I am wondering if there is a connection there, or it is just a coincidence? I stopped eating meat, started college, moved across the country, became an adult with the hormonal changes that go along with that....started getting migraines regularly... all those things happened at the same time. I know, "rich tapestry". Maybe I should eat a cow and see how I feel? ugh.

more misery

2010-08-19T08:45:00.001-07:00

Tuesday morning woke up, felt migraine coming on, took all the meds, they did NOTHING, canceled work and students, in bed vomiting all day and all night.

Wednesday morning pain moved from left side to right side. Had to go into work to do the payroll. Threw up a lot. Hardest day at work EVER. Canceled students, came home after payroll. Slept all afternoon. Pain pain pain.

Thursday morning feeling better finally. Stressing out over all I have missed at work and in life. Feel bad that I keep canceling my students. My house is a mess. Phone calls to make. Too much to deal with.

This is my life 1-2x per month. Missing days. Pain.

I will make an appointment with a gynecologist and BEG her to do something about my damn hormones.

cycle days 22 & 23

vacationing and meds

2010-08-16T20:07:00.000-07:00

Had some fun times on family trips last week. Sunday drove up to Mt Rainier to stay in a cabin (um, actually a LARGE FANCY-to me-HOUSE) with Mr G's whole famdamily. Of course Sunday morning I woke up feeling mighty awful. Took anti-nausea, took Sumatriptan (the generic Imitrex I have). I think I took 2 actually somewhere along the line that day. But felt better. Monday afternoon felt crap-ola again, took another. Felt better. Was good for the rest of the week.

Those were cycle days 13 and 14.

Then we went to the coast for the rest of the week. It was fun. I felt great the whole time. Sunday (yesterday) came back to "the valley" to find 90+ degree weather. Ugh. Blah. By 10:00 last night a migraine was coming on fast! I took all the meds. Fell into a druggy sleep. Woke up feeling like I was going to have a heart-attack. Spent most of the night in terror that I would have a heart attack or a stroke or something. Plus it was really freaking hot, too hot for sleeping. But felt "normal" by morning.

That was cycle day 20.

I really do not like the way the Sumatriptan makes me feel. But so far it has always worked, I think. The frustrating thing is that am not supposed to take as much as I often feel like I need to take to get through a big migraine attack. (But I also do not WANT to take as much as I feel I need to take, or on as many days as I feel I need it, because it makes me feel like my heart is going to explode!)

I need to "check in " with my doc. Also make an appt with acupuncture or naturopath once and for all!

bad week

2010-08-01T08:47:00.000-07:00

Yesterday woke up feeling mostly okay, and thought that I had avoided an extendo-migraine misery weekend. But as the day progressed my right eye socket became increasingly ice-pick-stabby. I managed to go out for dinner with Mr G's parents and brother, but I sure felt miserable the whole time. After dinner I thought I might start puking but I managed not to. (Bonus for everyone.) I watched a movie and went to bed, all the time with the stabbity-stab-stab-stab behind my eye. Now it is the next morning and I feel fairly "normal" for the first time in about a week.

Today I am going to start the whole "weaning off coffee" thing. (Again.) Although I am enjoying a delicious cuppa right now. Gotta start slowly with these things.

it always gets me in the end

2010-07-30T21:29:00.000-07:00

So let's see, where did we leave off? Oh yes, I ended up taking more more than my "allowed" amount of Imitrex on Tues night. Wednesday felt pretty good all day. I even got up the gumption to go do a fun recording project with my friend Rachel in the evening!

But then Thursday morning (yesterday) I felt absolutely crappy all day. I took some ibuprofen during the day, and it did nothing. Of course. I had a few students I didn't want to miss, so I spend much of my afternoon lying down on my lesson floor in agony between lessons. Fun times. Then I was finally able to go home but my car wouldn't start, which involved much stress and fighting with boss and co-workers (it's a long story) and finally a jump-start got me home.

Then Mr G and I watched a movie. Then my head started to hurt unbearably. And the vomiting and etc etc the usual fun stuff. All night long.

Today (Friday) was in bed pretty much all day. Canceled work and students. Pain pain pain. However, by around 6 pm I was able to get up and drink a protein shake while Mr G and the kids had dinner, and do the whole bedtime process with them. And now I am feeling not 100%, but not like death either.

So my "period" migraines seem to have this pattern: a few days before my period I start to feel migrainey, I take the migraine meds, repeat for a couple days, then start my period and feel worse, take some more migraine meds even though I am not "supposed" to, then finally just have to miss 2-3 days of my life because I can't take any more medication and the migraine really wants to have me in its clutches.

At least I tried taking all the "daily preventative" medications, so I know those are not the answer for me.

bbbbblllaaaaaahhhhhh I'm done thinking about it for tonight. Back to bed for me, to get some actual uninterpreted and hopefully pain-free SLEEP.

cycle days 4 & 5

continuing blah

2010-07-28T08:16:00.000-07:00

Started my period yesterday (Tuesday). Felt awful all day, took tons of ibuprofen. Made it through the day. Went out for dinner. Watched a movie. Felt awful during both. By the time I went to bed at 11:30 (late! but I wasn't sleepy any earlier) my head was absolutely pounding on the right side behind eye socket and nausea was coming on. I took an anti-nausea. Then I took another generic Imitrex, even though I had already taken some on 2 days this week. It made my headache go away and I was able to get some sleep. This morning I feel groggy but no headache or nausea.

I hope I'm done with this for the week. It's been pretty miserable! It's the "starting my period" migraine that is always the worst one. Which I tell my doctors and they just give me blank looks. yay.

PS I have not been eating sugar or drinking alcohol all week. I have been getting exercise when I am able. I'm trying really hard to do everything "right"!

right side
cycle day 1

7/25/10 cont

2010-07-26T09:26:00.000-07:00

Felt okay (but kinda crappy) all day. Also have a dry sore throat (because of the hot weather and fans running in every room of our house? Sleeping with the window air conditioner running all night?)

Much the same as the past 2 nights, last night as I was preparing to go to sleep my head started hurting like a mo-fo on the right side. Still haven't started my period yet, but I know that is the trigger here. (Maybe hot weather too.) I did end up taking another sumatriptan (generic Imitrex). I figured it this way: the instructions tell me not to take more than two in 24 hours or use for more than 2 days per week. I had already used some on 2 days in a row (one each day), but I had only taken ONE in the past 24 hours, and it was not the next day yet officially, so I figured I could safely take one more. And it helped! The sucky thing is that if it happens again tonight (which I am fully expecting), I cannot take any more. Which means I will be out for a couple days with a migraine. no no no no no. I am dreading it. I just don't know what to do about these hormonal migraines. I have to start selling my belongings so I can afford to go see a naturopath and/or acupuncturist.

I'm feeling mighty blah so far today. It's only 9:30 am. sigh.

cycle day 28 (or possibly 1, the day is still young)
right side

7/25/10

2010-07-25T09:03:00.000-07:00

I tried to sleep sitting up last night, thinking maybe that would prevent the migraine that was surely coming on... Sometimes when I am feeling "migrainey" at bedtime it seems like lying down makes my head hurt more but sitting up is some relief. So I thought: What if I were to sleep sitting up? Would that help? It didn't. Actually, I was not very successful at remaining in an upright position.

I really did not want to have to take another generic Imitrex (which is actually called Sumatriptan Succinate, I finally looked at the package to see the name) but at 5:30 this morning I really needed to. So I did. I am gambling that I will not need another one tomorrow morning, but I do not have high hopes. It's really important that I don't have a migraine tomorrow, because of childcare and work duties, so my dilemma was: take one today and prevent a 2 day migraine attack (which would render me incapacitated for Monday which would be very very bad) OR not take one today, hope the migraine wouldn't get any worse, and save my second one for Monday, in the even that I wake up feeling worse on Monday. But then it might be too late for the medication to have any effect. It's like gambling!

I go around and around like that because the instructions with the medication make it very clear that one shouldn't use the medication for more than 2 days. (But it is "okay" to take 2 pills in one day... ) So once again I am feeling doomed because although I do not have a migraine today, what happens tomorrow? I am not supposed to take any more. That often seems to be the pattern - stave off the migraine with meds for a couple days but then the migraine comes through and gets me in the end.

left side
cycle day 27

danger time

2010-07-24T10:14:00.000-07:00

Two nights ago I felt really nauseous and mildly headachey and was having a difficult time sleeping. I debated taking an Imitrex, and decided instead to take one of my anti-nausea pills. I managed to sleep and felt better in the morning.

Last night felt the same, but even more headachey. I tried the same thing but woke up in the middle of the night with more intense pain so I took an Imitrex. I managed to get some sleep and the pain is gone, but it is really difficult to get going this morning!

I just feel kind of doomed this week... my period is just about to start (MAJOR TRIGGER) and it was Mr G's younger son's 5th birthday this week so we have had a lot of cake and icecream and sugary snacks in the house. I have not been doing a very good job at avoiding the sugar this week. Plus someone brought donuts to work yesterday and I cannot resist a donut! But I felt totally crappy for the rest of the day after eating it, so I guess I learned my lesson? Maybe?

So, yeah. Hormonal changes + eating sugar + weather changes + lots of STRESS in our house with Mr G's continued unemployment and his freak-outs over that. And stress at work too. Triggers galore!

I HAVE been exercising every day, which is good. I ride my bike to work when I don't need to drive, and days when I can't ride my bike I walk in the morning. So I'm pleased with myself about that.

But I still feel doomed. doooooomed.

cycle day 26

Migraines avoided on vacation (thanks to drugs)

2010-07-15T07:43:00.000-07:00

We spent a few days at the cabin we go to in central Oregon. Last time we went I had a bad migraine that kept me in bed for most of the visit. Miserable! This time I managed to avoid it, but I did have to take the generic Imitrex on two evenings. It prevented a full-blown migraine, but I really don't like how that stuff makes me feel. My heart beats fast and I can feel the drug all over. It's hard to explain. I am definitely aware that I have taken a major pharmaceutical. I get a bit twitchy as well. The first night I took one right before bed thinking I would fall asleep and wake up with headache gone, but I couldn't sleep! The pain went away but I felt fairly wired. The next day I felt fine, then the next evening felt like a migraine was coming on again, and I took another Imitrex but a bit earlier and stayed up for a while and managed to sleep okay.

Triggers were probably hormones (middle of my cycle!) and travel, changes in routine, sleep, diet, exercise, being out in the sun all day, etc etc etc.

But the good news is that so far it seems like the Imitex works pretty well. Although I have yet to try taking it when the extreme nausea is coming on fast. I'm worried I won't be able to keep it down when that happens.

cycle days 13 and 15

June 29, 30, July 1

2010-07-02T08:41:00.001-07:00

We went camping on Lopez Island up in the San Juans this week. With the kids. It was incredibly beautiful and mostly fun ("mostly" because the kids tend to have major spasms of hating everything and being unbearably horrid and whiny and fighty and screamy and we actually caused the camper next to us to pick up her whole tent and move it to a different site and I HATE being the "noisy people" because we generally pride ourselves on being the "quiet people" who hate all the noisy people....) AH but in retrospect is was mostly fun and the kids got to take their first ferry rides and they LOVED it.

So I am writing about this on my migraine blog instead of normal blog because of COURSE I ended up getting a migraine! I started my period on the second day of the 3 day trip, which is pretty much always a trigger. Plus change in diet, poor sleep, stressing myself out over bothering other people and WHY do our kids have to be so crazy ALL the time?

So the second night I took a Maxalt before bed, and that stopped the migraine. Then the next day was all day driving driving driving to get back to Pdx from Washington. Part way through the trip I started to feel BLAH so I took my LAST Maxalt (they won't let me have any more!) and it did NOTHING. So I spent Wednesday night and all day yesterday and all night last night in total misery. Pain vomit pain vomit a little sleep repeat for hours. Missed work, had to cancel a bunch of lessons. I hate having to do that. I really hate it a lot.

Usually when I have a full-blown migraine it lasts for a day or so on one side of my head, then moves to the other side and lasts for another day or so. Before it moves I usually get what I cleverly call "the eye of the hurricane" ... I will wake up and suddenly feel peaceful, no pain, and think "hooray it's over!" but then I feel it gradually creep to the other side and the whole thing starts up again. I think in the past I may have tried taking more medication during "the eye" but I don't think it worked. Mr G tells me it didn't work. But last night I did take a generic Imitrex during "the eye" and I am able to sit up and think this morning. I will even go to work today I think. So yay.

Triggers: hormones, stress, change in diet and exercise and sleep. Probably.

right side, left side, right side
cycle days 1,2,3

quick note

2010-06-25T08:41:00.001-07:00

I woke up at 3 am again this morning, feeling fairly nauseous and on the verge of migraine. I got up and walked around a little bit, read my book a bit. I ended up taking an anti-nausea but NOT an imitrex. I finally managed to fall back to sleep for a bit, and the headache didn't come on full force. I still feel like I am teetering on the verge though.

Sometimes when I wake up feeling migrainey I feel like it is worse when I am lying down, but if I get up or even sit up my head feels better. I might experiment with sleeping while sitting up...?? although that doesn't sound too pleasant, but if my head doesn't hurt, it might be worth it.

Also I need to check my yoga books for good poses for "insomnia", so when I'm up and wandering around at 3 am I can do some yoga to make me sleepy. If that is even possible.

6/24/10

2010-06-24T07:53:00.000-07:00

Well! I have gone 17 or 18 days with no migraine. That is pretty damn good for me. I think my longest time (in the last couple years at least) is about 19 days. I tend to get fewer in the summer months probably because I: exercise more, eat better, feel generally more relaxed, plus SUNSHINE!

I've been feeling invincible, but of course it never lasts forever. So I woke up this morning at 3:00 am feeling nauseous and agitated and twingey behind my left eye. Sometimes it is difficult for me to tell if I am really getting a migraine or not (although I always know deep down that I am)... it is tricky because the medication only works if it is taken before the migraine kicks in, but at the same time it's not very good to take it if there is not actually going to be a migraine. So I usually spend some time debating - should I take it? Can I go to sleep and then feel better? Then I end up taking it because I realize if I think I may be getting a migraine that generally means that I AM getting a migraine (yes I've gotten them for 20 years so maybe by now I would know what the deal is). Then I freak out because I'm afraid I've waited too long to take the medication and I'm scared it will not work.

Anyway, I went through all that at 3 this morning. I ended up taking an anti-nausea and my new generic Imitrex. I broke the pill in half by accident because I couldn't figure out how to get it out of the packaging in the dark. I tried to hold very still and worried about stuff (I wasn't trying to worry about stuff, I just was) and then eventually the medications started to kick in. How much time went by? I'm not sure! 1/2 hour maybe? But man, my heart was beating fast! Not a good feeling. I couldn't fall back to sleep because I felt so druggy. But! The migraine went away! So that's good.

What was the trigger? It is cycle day 22, and I often get a migraine in the days leading up to my period starting. So there is that. We went camping Tuesday night, so for 2 days I didn't get my walk in (I have been walking every single morning for the past 2 weeks! woo!). I also ate two s'mores while camping, and I haven't been eating any white sugar for the past two weeks.

So... hormones; change in sleep (tent sleeping is not my friend, although I DO love camping); less exercise; sugar? pollen in the woods? (I'm reaching here!)

We have lots of little trips planned this summer so I really need to listen to my body and avoid as many triggers as I can. Must not "ruin" summer.

The weather has finally warmed up (and dried up) so I can start riding my bike to work, which will be my exercise for the day. I like exercise with a purpose (such as getting somewhere).

left side
cycle day 22

Update

2010-06-15T11:50:00.000-07:00

I've been off the white sugar for about 2 weeks. I did have a cookie at a party over the weekend. So far it hasn't been too difficult to stop the sugar, although I know once the weather gets hot again I will be craving ice-cream treats.

I have not cut back on caffeine yet but I really want to. That will be a very slow process. I've done it before, so I know I can do it. It's just so difficult!

I have been for a walk every morning for the past two weeks. Pretty soon I will start riding my bike to work. Exercise every day. Gotta do it.

I am still taking magnesium and riboflavin, and started with a very low dose of melatonin at bedtime. Since I stopped the daily pharmaceuticals I also stopped sleeping deeply through the night, but the melatonin seems to help a bit. Also we FINALLY installed light-blocking shades on our bedroom windows so now it is nice and dark in our room all day and all night and so good for sleeping! Also we have a new fan, "The Vornado", running all night long which is really good white noise. Our bedroom is right over the street so I always wake up from car doors slamming or people talking as they walk by our house in the middle of the night (since we are near several bars). I hate sleeping with earplugs in. Can't do it.

I think that's all. I got my new prescription for generic Imitrex which I haven't used yet. It is a pill instead of an "orally disintegrating" tablet (which is what the Maxalt was) so I don't really have faith that it will work for me (since I will throw it up before it can start to work). The health plan I'm on won't let me take Maxalt anymore because it is too expensive for them.

We have a lot of trips planned for this summer so I have to really listen to my body and do what I need to do (or don't do what I should not do) so that I don't ruin our fun summer with migraines!

New morning

2010-06-08T08:28:00.001-07:00

Ha! I slept "normally" last night! "Normally" meaning the way I used to sleep waaaayyy back before any of the medication, which is to say I wake up a few times during the night, but no nightmares or anxieties or zapping brain waves or overly drugged feelings.

This morning I went for a nice walk around my neighborhood and my ipod kept playing upbeat '80s music and I felt like I was in a movie montage about a woman who was "taking back her life". Except sometimes I felt like I was in "It's A Wonderful Life" and I was running through the park saying "good morning Mr Postman! I'm off the drugs!" "How do you do Miss Dog Walker! I'm off the drugs!" "Hello school kids! I'm off the drugs!"

Although I have to admit I am feeling kind of groggy right now. But I'm not off the coffee YET so that's good news. But that is my next goal!

one more quick note

2010-06-07T22:14:00.001-07:00

... I actually got an email response back from my doctor tonight about the Topamax. She says:
"This medication can induce drowsiness not agitation and usually does not induce any nightmares.
You will only see a benefit from this medication when the dose will reach 75 or 100 mg a day."
She wants me to let her know what I decide. Very interesting. I'm still not going to take it anymore. There is no way the medication isn't causing my poor nights sleep!

I really need to stop dwelling on this.

update of last migraine (6/4 & 5) and some thoughts

2010-06-07T19:12:00.000-07:00

First let's review a wee bit: last week I had to take some Maxalt on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, I believe. That's my "allowed" amount per week. (Actually it's "no more than 3 in 24 hours or use more than 2 days per week" which STILL confuses the heck out of me.)

Then Thursday I started my period (surprise!) and felt pretty good for the most part, I think.

Thursday evening took my first Topamax before bed. Slept fairly poorly.

Friday the plan was going to be that I would go into work for a couple hours to get some stuff done, then we would pick up Mr G's older son from school and go to the cabin we go to in central Oregon for a fun weekend. But instead I woke up feeling GOD AWFUL on Friday morning. I tried to fight the headache with Ibuprofen and caffeine, but started feeling really nauseous, took some anti-nausea medication (whose name I can never remember so I don't write it but it doesn't matter because it doesn't seem to work most of the time anyway) then... I ended up having to call in sick to work and puked for 2 days.

OH I still went along on the trip. I puked on the three hour car ride, I lay in bed for two days (getting up every hour or so to puke), I enjoyed the sounds of everyone else having fun (AND whining and screaming and fighting... Mr G is my hero for dealing with the nastiness that was occurring for some reason...) It was the worst vacation weekend getaway ever, I do believe.

Why the bad bad migraine? Because of my period? Starting the Topamax? Driving on mountainous roads for 3 hours (that didn't help, but the migraine was already well under way by that point). I was out all day Friday, all day Saturday, and finally felt better by Sunday morning. Just in time to pack up and go home.

I did manage to take the Topamax on these nights, and I had trouble sleeping, but I often do when I have a migraine, and also the higher altitude can mess with my sleep a bit, so I couldn't really tell what was disrupting my sleep. Last night was my first "migraine free" night on the Topamax and, as my last post describes, it was awful.

Other side effects I have been experiencing so far: runny nose, feeling groggy, heart beating fast, ears ringing, upset stomach. All listed as "possible side effects".

All day today I have been going around and around about whether I want to continue on this medication or not. I emailed my doctor to ask her if these side effects will go away in time, but of course it will take a couple days to hear back from her. I have just been feeling so torn up about it. Really stressed-out and anxious. I just don't think I can go through another night filled with scary dreams. One person might say "well just stick it out for a few more days and see if you feel better" but everything in me is telling me that this is not right. What's worse, having to stay in bed for 2 days in intense pain and throwing up every half hour, or feeling like a zombie who can't sleep or remember things?

I know I have only been taking this medication for 4 days, but I have already decided that I do not like the idea of taking something every single day. I mean, I already did not like that idea, but I wanted to try it, just to see if it could help me. And maybe it could help me, supposedly it does help a lot of people. But it just doesn't feel "right" for me.

As I go back to my favorite migraine book ever, The Migraine Brain by Carolyn Bernstein and Elaine McArdle (something I need to do frequently) I am reminded of the very simple "rules" I need to remember to follow and always be aware of:

Exercise
Sleep
Nutrition
Stress Reduction

Hah I wrote a post on January 19 of this year to remind myself about these things. I don't know why it's so hard to remember to exercise, sleep, eat well, and not be stressed out. Oh, and drink water. Anyway, I feel like I could control my migraines if I could just stay on top of all those things! It seems so easy! But then my damn hormones do something wacky and nothing seems to help.

One thing I realized is that I kind of stopped exercising because when I started on the amitriptyline I couldn't really get going in the morning. Plus it was cold and rainy ALL the time. But mostly I was so groggy and out of it. Which is another reason I think I want to go drug-free. So I can be present enough to exercise and take care of myself so I don't have to take the drugs.

I feel like I am rambling now and speaking gibberish, so I think I will write some more at another point in time.

Monsters and clowns in the bathroom at night

2010-06-07T12:03:00.000-07:00

So far the Topamax seems to cause screaming night terrors mixed with the inability to sleep at all. Yay! Plus waking up in the middle of the night having to pee really badly but feeling sure there will be monsters in the bathroom and I wouldn't be able to tell the difference between dream and reality anyway so best to stay in bed and watch the swarms of tiny ants crawling across the ceiling. But how can I see the ants without my glasses on? Huh?? Dreams tricking me again!

Yes well at this point (day 4?) I am quite unhappy with this medication. But I just got over a doozy of a three day migraine (which I will write about in detail this evening when I have more time OH yes I will)... so I feel like I can't even really tell exactly what the topamax is doing to me yet (other than the waking up in the middle of the night screaming... Oh amitriptyline how I miss you and your 9 hours of zonked-out sleep!)

This all seems so stupid. I think I want to just start completely over. Discontinue EVERYTHING, even supplements. Start fresh. I know it's my hormones, why can't anyone figure out a way to balance those out!?!? I just don't understand it.

But I don't have time to write about this right now, even though I feel like I need to. More soon...

P.S. I am giving up refined white sugar starting TODAY. And I have big plans to get off the caffeine again. But that will have to happen slowly.

6/4/10

2010-06-04T08:13:00.000-07:00

ugh ugh ugh. Slept awful last night. Because of the Topamax? Or because of my period? My head really hurts this morning and I am kinda nauseous. Dammit. I have already taken Maxalt 3 days this week so am not supposed to take any more. I did take some ibuprofen and an anti-nausea pill at around 5:45 this morning. I'm trying some black coffee for my headache, sometimes that actually helps. But blah. This really sucks.

I'm not sleepy or groggy so I don't feel like I can go back to bed, although I really like the idea of going back to bed. But I don't think I would sleep, I would just lie there thinking about how miserable I feel. I am trying to figure out if I can stay home from work today. I really do not think I can. Also we are going on a fun weekend trip later today. Which involves a long car ride. I guess I will just bring some plastic bags for throwing up. It's fun to be me!

I can't even figure out how the Topamax makes me feel because I feel so crappy otherwise. Unless this is how it is making me feel. In which case - feh.

left side
cycle day 2

Down the rabbit hole tonight

2010-06-03T18:59:00.000-07:00

I picked up my Topamax today. I will start taking it tonight before bed: 1 every night for one week, then 2 for one week, then 3 for one week, then 4, then I call my doc and tell her if I'm speaking gibberish (or more importantly if it is helping my migraines).

I'm pretty nervous about this medication because it is fairly SERIOUS MEDICATION but I am going to try it for one month (or less if the side effects are unbearable) and then at least I can say I tried it. My neurologist's assistant says it seems to help a lot of people, so that is encouraging.

I'm scared about the whole speaking in tongues thing, as well as feeling stupider than I already feel most of the time, I'm worried about staring at the wall and drooling, and I'm worried about the fact that I might STOP BREATHING or my heart may explode... Plus there is this whole thing about glaucoma and tunnel vision that is freaking me out. But I am realizing that right now I am mostly worried about losing 3.8% of my body weight. I know that is crazy, many people would love to lose a bunch of weight without having to do anything. But I really like my current weight! I don't want to go back to being too skinny again.

But, all the side effects are merely "possible side effects".

Today I feel so tired and doped-up (and I haven't taken any medication of any sort today AND I drank some espresso) so I really can't imagine feeling any more out of it.

Stay tuned for the report....

6/2/10

2010-06-02T08:12:00.000-07:00

argh argh argh I woke up around 3 this morning with horrible nauseating pain. I took more Maxalt and anti-nausea! And managed to sleep. Now I am groggy and glaring at the world.

Yesterday I took a ton of Ibuprofen to get through work. That is something I generally try not to do, but it was necessary. It did help me get through the day.

Last night was night #1 off the amitriptyline.

My neurologist called yesterday, or rather, a cheerful administrator-lady from the office called me. She told me that my doc had ordered the Topamax. Actually she said "Topa-uh um, topa-max, is that how you say it?".

She read off the directions for me: "Be sure to drink lots of extra water because of the possibility of kidney stones. Drink a LOT of water. Other possible side effects may include tingling of face and limbs."

Me: "yup, okay, I think I know about the side effects."

Administrator Lady: "Oh, and a less common possible side effect is that you will start speaking gibberish."

Me: "....!?!?"

A.L.: "...!?!?"

Me: "Oh, haha, that's okay, I often find myself speaking gibberish anyway."

A.L.: "Ha ha!"

So anyway. Now I have to find the time to drive all the way out to where my medication awaits me. I am pretty nervous about this stuff, but I will try it for a month and see if it helps me. I'm honestly not confident that I will know if the gibberish I start speaking will be from the medication or my usual inability to form coherent thoughts. I'll ask Mr G to keep a close eye on me.

Still haven't started my period yet but probably today. My current trigger has been hormones I am sure.

cycle day 30 (0r 1)

6/1/10

2010-06-01T08:06:00.001-07:00

Woke up at about 1:30 this morning, took another Maxalt and some anti-nausea. Feeling sooo crappy. Now it's about 8:00 am. Seems like I'll probably be starting my period today. Can't take any more Maxalt. My head still hurts a little bit.

I have been down to 1/2 amitriptyline the last couple nights. I will call my neurologist today to find out about starting on the new medication.

I think I will be making this blog private soon because really it is mostly for me, so I can track my pain, and I have been feeling weird about spreading my pain all over the internet.

okay.

cycle day 29 (or probably 1, the day will tell...)

5 31 10

2010-05-31T20:19:00.000-07:00

I managed to NOT get a migraine over the weekend, and I was so sure I would, because all the signs and triggers pointed in that direction. So go Team Squirky! But I woke up this Memorial Day morning feeling kind of crappy and pre-menstrual-y and pre-migraine-y and by afternoon felt the need to take a Maxalt. Oh did I mention I woke up about 2 hours earlier than usual thanks to Mr G's kids? I love those guys, but WHY do they have to get up at 6 am and immediately start beating each other up and screaming? Then in the afternoon we decided to go to the County Fair and I just knew that would be a migraine disaster. On the car ride to the fair my migraine brain started protesting violently. But the Maxalt stopped the migraine (so far...)

cycle day 28

Updating before I continue to forget...

2010-05-28T08:56:00.000-07:00

I was in the midwest visiting family last week. Flying went fine, I felt fine on the plane and when we arrived, but about 2 hours after arriving a migraine started up. This is what often seems to happen, I don't really understand it. So I took a Maxalt and an anti-nausea med.

The next evening I felt like I needed to take another Maxalt - we had a busy noisy slightly stressful (but mostly fun!) day at the zoo, which could have been a trigger.

Then I was fine for a couple days, then felt like I needed another (I'm afraid that a glass of wine may have been then trigger this time). Then the rest of the trip was fine. All the Maxalt I took successfully prevented full-blown migraines. So yay for that.

The flying was fine coming back, and I did not get a migraine after coming home.

I am down to 25mg amitriptyline, and next week I will call my neurologist to get started on the new medication.

I am fully expecting to get a migraine this weekend because: 1. I will be starting my period, 2. long car rides to and from the coast, 3. semi-annual "Frag Fest" which means playing a violent video game on a computer for 2 days straight while eating lots of sugar and junk and having a poor sleep schedule. All those things together will probably equal migraine. I need to try to not consume a lot of sugar and take lots of breaks from the computer screen.

migraines on trip were cycle days 16, 17, 20.

5/18/10

2010-05-18T12:05:00.000-07:00

Took a Maxalt this morning. It's day 15 of my cycle. Maxalt stopped the migraine but I'm feeling super doped-up now.

Triggers are probably hormones plus the stress of leaving for a trip tomorrow plus I ate a lot of sugar yesterday. Although I am trying really hard not to feel any stress about this trip, but flying and traveling is always stressful for me no matter what. sigh.

More later. Must work now.

p.s. I told my neurologist that I don't want to start a new medication while I am on my upcoming trip, so she told me to continue with the amitriptyline until I get back from my trip, then I will taper off it and start the topamax. weeeeee.

left side
cycle day 15

next!

2010-05-07T09:14:00.000-07:00

Hmm. Well, my neurologist promptly replied to my email (she's great about that!) and said that the amitriptyline should have worked for me by now. So she wants me to "taper off" and try the Topamax. Blah.

The little bit of sunshine in this is that I talked on the phone to her assistant, and he said that he has heard from other patients that the Topamax works the best. And I didn't feel like he was just saying that. He sounded quite sincere and helpful. I don't know why that made me feel better, but it did.

So now I am waiting for instructions as to how to "taper off" the ami, and then I guess I'll be starting up the Topamax! Which I was initially opposed to. But I think I will try it as my "last resort" and then if I don't like how I feel (or continue to get migraines) I will go no medications and be more aggressive about the natural medicine route. Why don't I just do that now? Because I want to see if "western medicine" can help me out, as long as I actually have some healthcare for the moment (which may be going away in a few months anyway, if my hubby doesn't get a job!). Then at least I can feel like I've "tried everything".

May 4 and 5 2010

2010-05-06T08:29:00.000-07:00

Monday I felt great. Went to bed that night with the tiniest headache, however. Woke up early Tuesday morning with the ice pick behind my left eye. Took a Maxalt, took an anti-nausea. Tried to go back to sleep. After about 3 hours the migraine did not go away, and I started throwing up. (What the heck is the anti-nausea medication supposed to DO anyway??) I called in sick to work and canceled all my students. Miserable all day and all night.

Woke up Wednesday morning and the pain moved to the right side of my head. So it all started over. I did manage to keep down some protein shake and an egg with toast, sipped at lite-emergen-C water all day (electrolytes) and had some yogurt in the evening. Not as much nausea but the pain was still pretty unbearable. Called in sick to work again, canceled students again. I really really hate to have to cancel students.

Today I still have a little pain but I think as the day goes on it will go away. So I will go to work today. And now I will be stressed out at all I have to catch up on after missing two entire days of my life!

I sent my doc an email but she is "out of the office" today so I won't hear back from her until tomorrow probably.

Triggers: probably hormones because I started my period the day the migraine started.

left side, right side
cycle days 1 and 2

good today!

2010-04-29T11:48:00.000-07:00

...so yesterday I had to take a Maxalt at around 12:30. I sat at my desk with my head in my hands for about 1-1/2 hours (really!) feeling very horrible, and then by about 2:30 I felt better. But I really hate the way I feel with the combination of the ami and the maxlt. (although I suppose the yucky druggy feeling is better than getting a migraine. Is it?)

Today I feel great! Haven't started my period yet, however.

I am composing my next email to my neurologist. Should I give the amitriptyline more time? Should I bump up the dose to 100 mg? Should I abandon it and try the "next" thing?

What happens when our health insurance runs out, and what happens if Mr G can't find a job that provides insurance? (Mine doesn't!) Argh I am not going to worry about that right now.

4/28/10

2010-04-28T12:30:00.000-07:00

I'm at work and just had to break down and take a Maxalt. It's a pre-menstrual migraine. Also I have been eating a lot of sugar. I think I need to try to stop eating sugar and see if that helps me. I don't think I eat all THAT much, generally, but I have a lot of sugar in my house right now because I just had my spring music recital for my students which always involves a little party afterwards which always involves cookies and whatnot. Plus yesterday I had an m&m craving and ate a bunch of coconut m&ms. Which were good but also just very sweet and chemical-y. I think sugar might be bad. Just a hunch.

I have a full day of students today so I can't really have a migraine. Tomorrow and the next day I have to process the payroll.

If I am going to continue to have to take all these Maxalts I might as well not take the amitriptyline anymore. I don't really know if it is helping. Plus I really don't like the way the combination makes me feel. I will email my neurologist and see what she thinks.

BLAH.

left side
cycle day 24

4/26/10 (or 4/25?)

2010-04-26T08:44:00.000-07:00

Went to bed last night at about 10:30. Had a small twinge of headache, but decided to try to just go to sleep. Woke up at 3:30 with bad headache and nausea. Took a maxalt and an anti-nausea. Finally fell back to sleep, woke up around 7:30. No more headache but super druggy.

Triggers? I don't know. Hormones? Too much sugar yesterday? Being outdoors for most of the day? I don't know.

left side
cycle day 22 (or 21 since it happened overnight...)

4/20/10

2010-04-20T19:22:00.000-07:00

Suffered through yesterday with the help of lots of ibuprofen, but then got to the point where it wouldn't have been wise to take any more. (Thanks to my co-workers and then my darling Mr. G for reminding me about the possible dangers of too much of that kind of thing.) However, once the effects of all the medications wore off, I was feeling pretty bad.

I had some dinner (no alcohol) - bean and mole burritos - and watched a movie ("Julie and Julia" which was okay. I DO love Meryl Streep, but I have read both the books on which this movie was based and, eh, I liked the books better). By the time the movie was over I needed to take some anti-nausea medication and get into bed. I threw up once, slept poorly...

Woke up this morning with unbearable pain behind my right eye. Had to stay home from work and cancel all my students, which sucks because this is the last week before the Big Spring Music Recital. I tried to drink some protein shake, threw it up. Cried a bunch.

The good thing is that I only threw up TWICE, instead of every 20 minutes for 12 hours straight. So that's something! Go me. But I really couldn't get out of bed until late afternoon.

I managed to eat some dinner (white rice and plain chicken - bland!) and now I am able to sit up and type and read. I feel like the pain is trying to move back over to the left side, but so far it is not too bad.

This afternoon I realized that sitting up actually felt better than lying down. When I am so nauseous and dizzy remaining horizontal is necessary, but today I wasn't too nauseous and lying down seemed to make my head hurt more. Interesting!

The frustration continues, however. I still had to miss a day of work today, despite everything I've been taking and doing and not doing.

right side

cycle day 16

ugh

2010-04-19T18:16:00.000-07:00

This is one of those times where I cannot take any more ibuprofen, and should not take any more maxalt, but my head is still hurting OW OW OW behind my right eye. But the pain is not bad enough (yet) to send me to bed. I just have to suffer. And all I want to do is to take something, anything, to make the pain go away.

OW.

at least I am not vomiting (yet).

4/18/10 continued

2010-04-19T08:32:00.000-07:00

By yesterday afternoon I felt pretty good, just kind of tired and druggy in the morning. Last night we went out for dinner, but I did not drink any alcohol. Ate delicious Thai food. When we got home at around 9 I started to feel the twinge behind my right eye. I tried to just relax and will it to go away, and I lay down and read for a while, then I feel asleep, then I woke up at about 10:30 with the pain. The pain! I took a Maxalt and went to bed.

After a night of crazy dreams, I woke up around 4:45 and felt the headache was still there (or maybe it had gone away and come back). I took one of my anti-nausea meds in the hope that it would prevent the nausea and also help me go back to sleep. I woke up at 6 and took four ibuprofen. I fell back to sleep until about 8.

Now I am up and drinking coffee. My head still hurts a little bit, but I am able to be up and about so that is good. I think I should be able to get through today. I hope! I can't miss work because I have my big music recital for my students next weekend.

I am out of Maxalt, but shouldn't take anymore anyway, since I took 2 yesterday. I guess it is "good" to know I can fight the migraine back a little with the anti-nausea pills and a bunch of ibuprofen. I know that that won't always work, however. Sometimes when the migraine starts coming on I immediately start vomiting, and I can't keep anything down. So I guess I'm just lucky this morning. So far.

right side
cycle day 14-15

4/18/10

2010-04-18T08:53:00.000-07:00

Woke up at around 6 this morning with the pain behind my left eye. I thought (as I often do lately) that there is no way I could possibly be getting a migraine, since I am taking a "preventative"! But then I realized that the migraine was indeed coming on strong, and today is supposed to be a very nice day weather-wise and I just do not want to miss it! So I took a Maxalt.

Migraine disease is a chronic neurological disorder. I am thankful that I do not have one of the other neurological disorders such as Parkinson's or Epilepsy. But still, migraines are no fun. No fun at all. (In case you thought they might be fun.)

I will give the amitriptyline a couple more weeks to see if it is really helping or not.

Yesterday I felt great, and did a lot of things. Went out for dinner with friends, had one beer and some pizza for dinner, then ginger tea because the pizza made my tummy hurt a little. Went to bed at a reasonable hour. The main trigger is probably just good old hormones, since it is around ovulation time (if I do indeed ovulate).

left side
cycle day 14

New research?? wtf?

2010-04-14T19:59:00.000-07:00

Oh, gosh and golly gee! All I had to do all along is take some aspirin! Silly me and my acupuncture, neurologist appointments, yoga, magnesium supplements, very incredibly expensive and scary pharmaceuticals, hundreds if not thousands of days missed... And I guess all those other millions of migraine sufferers have been suffering in vain.

I heard this little snippet of news story on the NPR when I was driving home from work this evening, and I just had to laugh! I imagined all the migraine bloggers rushing to their computers to declare their amazement at the ridiculousness of this study.

I just don't see how aspirin would possibly help, especially someone like me for whom vomiting every 20 minutes for two days straight is just as big a part of the migraine as the pain is. (And I notice in the article they say that a "a combination of aspirin plus an anti-emetic, which stops people feeling sick, was particularly good at reducing the migraine symptoms of nausea and vomiting. However, it did not produce any greater pain relief." so... take aspirin and anti-nausea medication, but the pain won't go away? Is that what that means?)

Plus isn't too much aspirin really bad? I have visions of bleeding stomachs. I guess they do say in the article that it wouldn't be good for everyone. Especially not someone who gets frequents migraines.

Perhaps the "migraine sufferers" in the study were actually just experiencing regular headaches. I'm sure some aspirin would help that!

Sorry to be so negative and dismissive. I'm pretty jaded at this point when it comes to "new treatments" for migraines. Especially "new" treatments that involve very old medicine like aspirin!

75mg

2010-04-14T10:13:00.000-07:00

Upped my dose of amitriptyline to 75mg last night (after over a week of 50mg). It was hard to wake up this morning, but I managed. Even went for a walk!

I am freaking out a little (again) about taking medication, however. Argh.

But feeling pretty good today. A little sunshine helps for sure!

4/12/10 (or 4/13?)

2010-04-13T08:36:00.001-07:00

Felt fine all day yesterday. Ate a bunch of Skittles candy because it was just sitting there at work. BAD. Had a beer with dinner. I often do. Beer may or may not be a trigger, I think it depends on what else is going on ("the perfect storm" kinda thing). Watched a movie last night ("A Serious Man" -- excellent film! I highly recommend it) and by the end of movie felt migraine starting up behind right eye.

Got into bed, tried to fall asleep, but felt too agitated. Took a Maxalt. Started feeling nauseous. Took one of the "new" (to me) anti-nausea pills. Finally slept. Woke at about 1:30 am so very very thirsty. I thought I would die of thirst. Got up, got some water, drank it. Went back to sleep.

Had a very hard time waking up this morning. Now I am drinking a cup of coffee. I still feel the tiniest twinge of pain behind right eye, but not too bad. I feel very low energy and depressed. Fun times.

Currently am still taking 50mg of the amitriptyline - not sure if I should be upping the dose or not. That was the original direction, but then she changed it.

Found some riboflavin (B2) so am taking 400mg B2 and 400mg magnesium daily.

cycle day 8-9 (never know how to count it when it happens overnight...)

4/8/10 & updates

2010-04-08T14:30:00.000-07:00

Yesterday: woke up, went for a walk, felt not very good. Drank some coffee and took some ibuprofen. By the time I got to work I felt fine!

Today: woke up feeling okay, did not go for a walk for some reason. I've been running around doing errands and working really hard at my job. It is now about 2:30 pm and I am getting that pain behind my right eye which says "haha it's migraine time sucka." I ate some lunch, but I still feel like it is coming on strong. So I just took a maxalt. I will maybe lie down for a little while before my students come.

Yesterday my ears were ringing really badly. Today I don't notice it so much. I'm still not sure whether it is a side effect of the medication or not.

Waking up in the mornings has gotten a bit easier.

I'm thirsty a lot, however. That is one side-effect I have read about. So I'm drinking lots of water. Which I should be doing anyway!

I'm still taking 2 (50 mg) amitrityline in the evenings. The last time I talked to my neurologist she said to stay at the 50 mg, although originally she had instructed me to bump it up to 100 mg gradually. I think I'll stay at the 50 for a few more days and then email her to see if I should take a higher dose. I've already gotten a couple migraines (that I beat with maxalt) since I've been taking the ami again, so... blah. But gotta give it at least a month. It's only been a couple weeks.

I finally found some more riboflavin (B2) so I started taking that again. I have been taking it in the mornings, but I wonder if I should be taking it in the evenings? I already take the magnesium and the ami in the evenings, so I don't know. I think I read that the B2 can make one sleepy... I'll have to do more research / ask my doc.

But now I need to make my head stop hurting so I can get on with my day.

right side

cycle day 4

4/5/10

2010-04-05T11:21:00.000-07:00

I've been doing pretty well so far since I started back up on the amitriptyline. But this morning I woke up feeling a migraine coming on, and at first I refused to believe that it could be true. I tried getting up and walking around (very occasionally that makes it go away!) but then I realized that what I really needed to do was take a Maxalt and get back into bed for a while. So that is what I did.

It is now about 3 hours later and I am at work and feeling... not great, but able to work at least. Pretty spacey though.

I am up to 2 ami (50mg) each night. I am going to give it about 6 weeks to see if the migraines decrease at all (and see how well I can "tolerate" this medication).

The trigger for this morning was most likely hormonal (it is day 25, a day when I more often than not get a migraine) and also possibly weather related, and possibly also related to the fact that yesterday was easter so I have been eating a LOT of sugar the past couple days.

I haven't been doing too well on the exercise front, because of cold rainy days and feeling too groggy in the mornings to do much of anything. But I know it is really important that I get some exercise on as many days as possible. I am ready for the weather to get a bit "friendlier" so I can start riding my newly tuned-up bike (thanks Mr G!). But until then I will get back on my morning walking / yoga stretching schedule.

left side

~~cycle day 25~~ edited to add: actually cycle day 1!

Notes on doctor appt. from this morning

2010-03-24T12:38:00.000-07:00

Notes on my "phone appointment" with neurologist:

I tried (again) to ask about hormonal issues, but I felt like she kind of brushed it off, saying "oh, if you take birth control your migraines will probably be worse, but if you really need to take birth control pills you can take a low-dose pill..." She focused on the idea that birth control CAUSES migraines. Either I'm not making myself clear that I want to find out if there is a way to BALANCE my hormones to maybe prevent hormone-triggers (not just take birth control pills), or it's just not an area she knows about (she is a "brain doctor" afterall). I will have to consult with a gynecologist or someone who "knows" more about hormones.

The whole conversation was kind of strange because I felt like she wanted ME to tell HER what I want to do next, but I don't know! She asked me if I want to take daily medication or "just continue to treat each migraine with the Maxalt" and I reminded her that part of the problem is that I am taking too many Maxalts, plus it isn't always effective and every month I end up losing a few days any way.

As I expected she talked about the Topamax, telling me that 5% of people who take it develop kidney stones. (The worst of a whole list of possible side effects.) I just feel like I do not want to try that medication unless it is my last option.

We talked more about the amitriptyline ("Elavil") and decided that the still persistent ringing in my ears most likely wasn't a side effect from that, since it has not really gone away, and I have been off it for a week. I was feeling like it was perhaps helping me, so she suggested starting on an even smaller dose and slowly working my way back up to the 50mg dose. So that is what I will try!

I do feel more comfortable with the ami than trying the Topamax, because it has been around for a longer time and there is just more research and documentation on it. Not that a drug is any "safer" just because it has been around for a while... But it doesn't freak me out quite as much as the Topamax does.

Coming soon to SquirkHead: more rambling thoughts about alternative treatments, as a result of two friends recently suggesting craniosacral therapy.... *Edited to say: I published the post with my random thoughs, but it appears two posts earlier, I guess because it was a draft I had written earlier. That's dumb.

Also: I think I might try to see a audiologist about my ears if it goes on for much longer. Why not? We still have this sweet healthcare plan, I can see lots of doctors for just a small co-pay! Might as well get it all in while I can.

(Another thing about the ears: I suspect it is related to the bad cold and cough I have had for a couple weeks, and/or the LOUDNESS that is in my house when the kids are around - I love those guys, but jeez they are LOUD. I really hope I'm not going deaf like my mom. I seem to remember she started having hearing problems in her 40s - Mom, if you are reading this, is this right??)

3/24/10

2010-03-24T11:44:00.000-07:00

Quick note: took a maxalt this morning at 10:30. I felt a migraine coming on and even experienced some of the wavy visual disturbance, which I usually don't get. I decided it has been a week since my last maxalt, but now that I sit down to actually figure it out it has only been about 5 days. oops.

Triggers are probably: hormones (day 13 - big migraine day), stress (for a variety of reasons), possibly also because I did a lot of outdoorsy stuff yesterday.

This morning I started writing some random thoughts which I will finish and post later, and I also need to make some notes about my phone conversation with my neurologist this morning... coming soon.

(it's 11:30 and I'm still not feeling very good yet. blah.)

left side
day 13

thoughts that I've probably written about before

2010-03-24T09:43:00.001-07:00

If there was one treatment that worked well for everyone, everyone would do it and tell others about it.

I have read blog post/forum post/book after blog/forum/book written by migraine sufferers that describe the common experience of trying medication after medication and alternative treatment after alternative treatment with few good results. That seems to be the majority.

I also sometimes read comments by people who say "I stopped drinking diet cola and my migraines went away forever!" Or "just exercise, drink water, and get enough sleep. That worked for me!" OH how I envy those people.

I know I have probably written about this exact thing before, but I am thinking about it a lot right now because two of my friends have recently recommended craniosacral therapy for my migraines: I am still struggling with the whole "western medicine vs natural/alternative medicine" issue. I LIKE the idea of treating my migraines through natural means, acupuncture or massage or mineral supplements.... I feel more comfortable with that than taking lots of chemicals that will have who knows WHAT long term effect on my brain and cardiovascular system. But at the same time, here's the thing: I currently have health insurance that is more or less an HMO. I can pay a small co-pay and see any of their doctors within their system. Medications? I just pay a small co-pay for my prescriptions! Do they cover natural/alternative medicine? HA! Although actually, I did find out that our plan will cover a certain number of "alternative" treatments per year, with a larger co-pay, and the practitioner has to be on their little list of people who work with them. So that is something, at least. Something I will investigate further.

But yeah, the money thing is tough. Over the years I have spent I don't know how many THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS out of pocket for various alternative treatments (such as weekly acupuncture treatments for a year and a half) not to mention the cost of supplements and minerals. "But isn't it worth it, to have good health?" Yes. But it is also very stressful to be broke because of the cost of maintaining my health.

Also, I don't feel that the alternative treatments necessarily work any better than the medications. For some people they do. For others, not so much. Once again, there is no "magic bullet". If there was, everyone would know about it and use it.

When I get depressed and confused about taking medication, I will think "okay I will just get migraines and just deal with them when I have them." But but but but but. When I have one (like the doozy I had last week) I will do ANYTHING to get rid of it. I can understand why people in the past did things like drill holes in their heads. I can also understand why people commit suicide over migraines (NOT that I have ever considered that, or ever would... I know there will be an end and have been through it enough to know I can hang on until it is over). But, yeah, when I am in the thick of it, I just want it to go away. Western or Eastern medicine, just make it go.

So I don't know. These are just some random (repeated) thoughts. I am just going to continue with what I am doing: try Western meds while also making an effort to improve my basic health and lifestyle, which means exercise, good food, limit caffeine and alcohol, stress-relief techniques, mineral supplements... and maybe try that craniosacral just to see if it helps. Just gotta keep trying different things. And I need to keep reminding myself that it is okay to combine western medicine and alternative treatments. It doesn't have to be one or the other (as some alternative treatment proponents make it seem).

Ok. I think I'm done for now. Sorry if I am repeating myself, I tend to do that a lot.

3/20 & 3/21

2010-03-21T11:11:00.000-07:00

Yup. Despite feeling fairly good Friday night (after taking the second Maxalt of the day) I woke up Saturday morning with the stabbing pain behind my left eye, and the nausea. I think I waited a bit too long to take my new anti-nausea medication, and spent the entire day and night in pain in bed throwing up. Just like old times. Just like last month at this time, in fact!

Slept through the night, woke up and the pain was gone from my left side, but had turned back up on the right side. Argh. But no more nausea so I drank a protein shake and napped some more, ate a soft boiled egg and napped some more, now I am drinking weak black tea with honey and soy milk and I am able to sit up and type and the pain is almost gone! I think once I finish my tea and shower I will be almost back to "normal". Hooray. At 11:15 am, too! So maybe today is not a total loss.

I did miss out on a lot of fun yesterday, apparently the weather was beautiful and Mr G and the kids did all kinds of fun stuff. OH well. I will be able to do something with them this afternoon.

One of my big fears is that the kids will remember me as this ghost, this sick sleeping person that is around yet not around. I hope they can understand that I can't go along on outings because I am sick, I hope they don't think that I don't want to spend time with them. When they are a little bit older I can talk to them about it. I can talk to them about it now (and I do), but I don't know how much they really understand. Other than the fact that I am sick a lot.

Tomorrow I will call my neuro's office and make an appointment for a "phone appointment".

I want to ask her about:
hormones
melatonin
in addition to her other suggestions (I know she will say to try the Topamax.)

left side, right side
cycle days 9 and 10

3/19/10 part two

2010-03-19T17:37:00.000-07:00

"May repeat after 2 hours if headache persists or returns. Do not take more than 3 tablets in 24 hours or use more than 2 days per week."

So... If I took one yesterday at 6 am and another this morning at 6 am, I can take a third today but not tomorrow... right??? That is how I am currently understanding it. It is rather confusing.

I just took a third, at 5:30 pm. Because I feel AWFUL, migraine-wise. (But luckily am not throwing up... yet!) So now I cannot take any more for a week.

Somehow I feel like I am going to lose this weekend...
sigh.

*Edited later to add: ok now it's 8:50 pm and my head feels fine! It took about 45 minutes for the Maxalt to kick in earlier. Now I just have a bad sore throat (unrelated to migraine!). But head is okay. Glad I took that 3rd pill. But... if I wake up with a damn migraine tomorrow morning I will just have to suffer through it (and miss the nicest day of the year so far!) A good night's sleep will help. Which reminds me: I need to research melatonin. I'm gonna try that again. Took it years ago, don't know if it helped me or not. Ok. Squirky out.

still right side
still cycle day 8

3/19/10

2010-03-19T09:27:00.000-07:00

woke up this morning and felt the migraine behind my right eye. I was expecting that. Took a Maxalt. So I will be good and not take any more Maxalt for one week.

But the really bad thing is that when I woke up I realized that my throat is in terrible pain. Sore throat! What the heck is THAT all about!? I thought my cold (or allergies or whatever it was) was over. Damn. So I'm feeling just really yucky today. I canceled my students, but I can't miss work today because it is payroll and I am the only one who knows how to do it. It is good job security, but a bummer when I feel like crapola.

My neurologist emailed me and said we could do a "phone appointment" next week to discuss other options. yay! She wants me to go for one week off the amitriptyline to see how the ringing goes.

right side
cycle day 8

3/18/10

2010-03-18T08:35:00.000-07:00

Argh. So I did not take the amitriptyline last night, at my neurologist's recommendation. I slept poorly and woke up this morning with a migraine! I took a Maxalt and now the pain is at about a 2 or 3. (The doctors like to talk about pain on a scale of 1-10. My migraines are usually about a 9 or 10 - completely incapacitated.) It is day 7 of my cycle and I can look at my tracking-chart and clearly see that I very frequently get migraines on this day. Days 6 - 9 are big days for migraines. Even more so than right before my period starts. I should do a little research and see what one's hormones are doing at this time in the cycle. I feel like I've looked this up in the past, but just don't remember.

Frustrating! I have no idea if I would have gotten the migraine had I taken the ami last night.

I also feel like maybe the ringing was going away, since I didn't notice it as much yesterday. But maybe I was just getting used to it. I guess I will follow my doc's suggestion and see what happens without the ami for a while. If there is still ringing then I know it is something else! Hmm, which would be bad. So I guess I do hope that the ringing is just a side effect of the medication and once it is out of my system the ringing goes completely away. But then that means that I can't take that medication. And it might have been helping me.

The good news is that the weather is warming up a little, and the sun is out more often and is setting later, so I will have more energy. I can start riding my bike to work! That's the exercise I need.

Yesterday I felt absolutely great. I had energy, I was in a good mood, I felt happy. Because of the sunshine? Or the antidepressants? Or maybe it was "euphoria" before a migraine, which is a common pre-migraine effect that I don't think I've ever experienced but have read about. WHO KNOWS? Not me.

left side
cycle day 7

oh well.

2010-03-17T11:34:00.000-07:00

Darn. So, I emailed my neurologist to tell her that my ears have been ringing/buzzing for the past week, and she said I should stop taking the amitriptyline and that we could "try it again at a later date" (I'm not quite sure what that means, exactly).

I'm bummed because I was really hoping that this would be my "magic bullet". Actually today is the first day that I feel pretty good (so far), other than the usual difficulty in waking up in the morning and super grogginess before my first cup-o-coffee. I haven't felt irritable today, and I'm in a really good mood! I keep concentrating to see if my ears are still ringing (it's actually more like a buzzing in my head - kind of hard to describe...) I keep thinking that they are NOT ringbuzzing today, but then I stop what I'm doing and sit still for a moment and find that, yes, I'm still experiencing it.

It is frustrating because I do not know for a fact that it is the medication that is causing this. It's pretty likely that it IS, but I had a bad cold with much coughing during the week before I started taking the ami, and I feel like my ears were ringing a little during that time. Or were they? I can't be sure! I guess discontinuing the medication is the logical thing, and if the ringbuzzing stops then that shows it was the meds.

I haven't had a migraine since I've been taking it, other than on day 2 of taking it. I was excited to try it for a whole month and see how it helps.

But at the same time I feel relieved because I do feel a wee bit uncomfortable taking this brain-altering chemical into my body. Although next my neurologist will want to try the Topamex, which is another chemical, and a newer one too (and I've heard mostly negative things about the side effects)....

So frustrating! I want the super easy magical cure, but that does not exist. I do a lot of reading of books and websites and blogs and forums and I have come to the (obvious) conclusion that migraine disease is very complicated and there is not one thing that works for everyone. Some treatments work well for some people, some treatments don't. Some people have to live with unbearable pain every single day of their lives.

I do need to do better about exercising every day, and making sure to have little snacks with me at all times. I've learned that being hungry is a big trigger for me. And I need to drink more water. Those are the little things I can do, the things that are free and relatively easy - I just gotta DO them!

When I am feeling well it is easy for me to get inspired and motivated to make changes, but then when I get a migraine I get so depressed and feel so hopeless and helpless.

Update

2010-03-15T12:37:00.000-07:00

So far I've been taking the amitriptyline for one week. 25 mg each night (I think??) and I'm supposed to bump up the amount each week, until I reach 100 mg (or whatever I decide I can "tolerate").

Side effects I've noticed so far are: tiredness, irritability, difficulty waking up in the morning (although I am sleeping deeply through the entire night which is great!). That's about it so far. Tonight I will take 50mg so I guess I will find out if there are more... (Weight gain is a famous one. I guess my attitude is that if I don't have to suffer through migraines I will tolerate a few extra pounds. I'm not overweight currently, so a couple more pounds probably won't be too bad.)

Also I have a ringing in my ears which I am not sure is due to the amitriptyline or leftover from the bad cold I had last week. I can't find that listed as a specific side effect, so I think I will email my doctor and see what she thinks about it. It is fairly annoying.

Had one migraine on day 2 of starting up the ami. But that's all so far (knock wood!).

I am going to give it 6 weeks. I guess it can take even 2-3 months to really make a noticeable difference. In the research I've done online I've discovered that it "really helps" some people and is useless for others. Sigh.

Other updates: I am back to walking every morning, but took a couple weeks off from that because I was out of town visiting family, and then when I returned I got a super bad cold and just couldn't deal with anything, especially not walking around in the rain. But I'm back on!

I haven't given up all caffeine and alcohol yet. I'm scaling back on both (I don't really consume very much alcohol to begin with anyway, certainly not even every night, and if so it's just one beer) - caffeine is the tough one. And since I am so groggy in the mornings I just want to drink more and more and more coffee or tea! Argh.

3/10/10

2010-03-10T08:18:00.000-08:00

Woke up early this morning with that special feeling behind my left eye. Both my neurologist and the pharmacist said it's "okay" to take a Maxalt while taking the amitriptyline (even though a book I read said it is NOT "okay")... I took a Maxalt.

Now am super groggy (what I like to call "druggy") but no headache or nausea. Super-extra druggy because the amitriptyline is making me pretty groggy in the morning so far - morning #2. That is a side-effect that people on the Internets complained about.

My doc said it will take a few weeks for the ami to start having any effect on me, so I will wait it out and see how it goes. Hopefully I won't have to take too much additional medication.

I'm sure the trigger is hormones -

cycle day 26

Notes from neurology appointment

2010-03-08T18:09:00.000-08:00

I saw a neurologist this morning, finally. I've never been to see one before. I had to leave at 7:00 am to get to the appointment which was kind of tough for me because I'm usually still soundly sleeping at that time (I know, boo-hoo). (Actually at that time I have usually just fallen back to sleep after being awake for a while.) ANYWAY.

My Neurologist said that I am indeed taking too much Maxalt. She wants me to try another daily preventative, since I get the migraines so frequently. She said there are two that she frequently prescribes with great results: Amitriptyline (which is an anti-depressant that has been found to help migraines and is now approved by fda for "off-label" use); and Topamax, which is an anti-seizure medication (I think??) that has been found to prevent migraines. We are starting with the Amitriptyline. I think I actually took it about 15 years ago for a very short time, but I honestly don't remember if it helped me or not. I will try it for about 6 weeks and see how it goes.

We didn't talk about the hormone issue at all (other than mentioning the fact that I get migraines around my period). My primary care doc seemed to think that taking hormones would be a bad idea for me, so maybe that is the truth? I honestly forgot to even ask today. But if the amitryptoline doesn't do it, I will definitely ask at my next appointment. I will also ask my gynecologist, next time I see one (I actually need to find a new one since my insurance has changed and blah blah blah). As my friend Jodi pointed out, a gynecologist would probably be more of an expert on hormonal issues. Right????? But wouldn't a "headache specialist" also know something about that subject, since it is a very common migraine trigger? Argh. It's all very confusing as always.

My Neurologist (gosh I feel like a real "migraine blogger" now because I can say that!) also prescribed a new anti-nausea medication for me to try: Prochlorperazine. I'm feeling like a real drug-user right now. Which....

I'm not so sure that I am fully on board with all this medication! Actually I really really hate the idea of taking all these chemicals. I am currently going this route right now because it is something I haven't actually tried (as opposed to acupuncture and naturopathic medicine, which I have tried...) and also because, frankly, it is easier. I currently have health insurance that covers neurology appointments and pharmaceuticals, but not "natural medicine". But this whole topic causes me a certain amount of stress and anxiety (which is NOT good for my "migraine brain"!).

2/20 -2/22

2010-02-28T11:20:00.001-08:00

Last week I flew to the midwest to spend a week with my family. I left early Saturday morning, and could not sleep at all the night before. I took a Maxalt at about 1:30 am. Before my flight I also took my Propranolol and some Dramamine (because I get airsick). Arrived in Illinois in the afternoon, took another Maxalt because I was feeling mighty migrainey. Felt better by evening, had dinner and a glass of wine. That night couldn't sleep, debated taking yet another Maxalt. Went ahead and took it. The next day was a big party for my Grammy's 95th birthday. I wasn't feeling 100%, but was able to socialize and eat and drink. I had about 1/2 glass wine and 1/2 beer, lots of food, then I started to feel really awful. I made it through almost the entire party! Finally I had to go upstairs and lie down. I took yet another Maxalt. But it did no good. I spend the rest of the evening and the entire next day in pain and throwing up. (For some reason I left my anti-nausea medication at home.)

Maxalts taken = 4. Days missed = 1-1/2. I was fine for the rest of the visit, luckily.

I have an appointment at the headache clinic next week! An appointment to see an actual neurologist / headache specialist. I'm pretty excited.

I'm discontinuing the Propranolol (my own decision). I've been decreasing the dosage, and will probably stop completely in the next day or two.

migraine occurred on cycle days 8, 9, and 10. Probably triggered by travel and stress...

Quick note so I remember...

2010-02-18T07:40:00.000-08:00

Last night we watched a movie, and I started feeling a bit pre-migrainey during the movie. (I didn't write about this yet but last week I sat down and made a little chart for 2009 to see which cycle days I most frequently get migraines and also which weekdays... Saturday was the most weekday, then Friday, then Sunday. I can't remember the cycle day info but days 5 and 6 were biggies! which is what it is now. Which is why I am bringing this up.)... Went to bed a little later than usual. (11, not too late.) Really felt like maybe a migraine was coming on. I did take a Propranolol before bed. Woke up around 1 because I had to pee. I was feeling "druggy"! But no migraine! This morning I feel fine (but a little bit "druggy"). I am definitely aware that I am "on" something. Did the Propranolol block the migraine? Or was it coincidence? Is the druggy feeling worth not getting a migraine? I am very aware of my heart. It is a feeling I do not especially like. It's like I can feel it beating, and it aches a little. Plus there is the spacey-tiredness.

Almost nonsensical ramblings but I just want to remember this.

I still am thinking I will stop taking the Propranolol...

cycle day 6

Stopping the Beta Blocker

2010-02-17T12:25:00.000-08:00

My doctor quickly responded to an email I had sent her with a question about how long I should try taking the Propranolol before I decide it's not working. She said "it does not work for everyone and unfortunately it seems that you are one of the people it doesn't work for" (although she didn't actually answer my question). She gave me the option of making yet another appointment with her to discuss yet more medications, OR she said she could give me a referral to the headache clinic. I replied with "gimme the referral!!!" Because it would be really nice to consult with an actual headache specialist. So now I am waiting for them to contact me to make the appointment. Yay.

I am going to start weaning myself off the Propranolol. I sit at work feeling like I am in a fog. The side-effects definitely outweigh any benefit. And I don't think there has been ANY benefit.

I just want to feel good

2010-02-16T07:52:00.000-08:00

Feeling like crap every morning lately. Because of the Propranolol? Because of my period? Because I am just sick in some other way? I do not know. But, I need a new game plan.

After my upcoming week vacation with my family* I think I am going to try the opposite extreme and try NO medication, just supplements and exercise. Also no caffeine or alcohol. Maybe no sugar too... but I don't think I can go no wheat/dairy (although I HAVE done that in the past...)

And, continue my quest for a knowledgeable doctor/naturopath/acupuncturist/everything combined. All I want is to be able to work with a medical professional who actually KNOWS something about migraine disease. (And who is covered by my insurance, preferably....)

*I am going to start elimination diet AFTER my vacation because the best part of vacation is drinking coffee all morning and wine/beer all evening! And I usually don't get migraines on vacations, probably because I am usually pretty relaxed (ie stress-free!). So I don't think it would be a good idea to torture myself by trying to give up everything I love while I am on vacation.

cycle day 4 - no migraine today but I just feel generally awful. Maybe I'm just sick, not head-related, just sick. BLAH.

2/14/10 (but late at night)

2010-02-15T08:40:00.000-08:00

Felt kinda crappy all day yesterday (which was a Sunday). Super sleepy in the early evening. Head started really hurting at bedtime, around 10:30 or so. Took a Maxalt. Had a terrible night's sleep. Feeling better now that it is morning and I'm up and about.

right side
cycle day 2

2/13/10

2010-02-13T16:25:00.000-08:00

Woke up in the middle of the night (or, very early morning) with that special feeling again. Took a Maxalt. SIGH. Felt better by 8 am however! Except I REALLY do not like the way I feel when I take the Maxalt on top of the Propranolol.

I emailed my doctor this morning to ask how long she thinks I should take the Propranolol before I decide it doesn't work for me. I am willing to give it a try, but if it should have made a difference by now I will not continue with it. I guess it has only been two weeks.

cycle day 1

2/11/10

2010-02-11T12:37:00.000-08:00

Woke up around 5 am, felt like my head was battling itself... don't know how to describe it... like the migraine was trying desperately to come through but the beta-blocker was trying to do its preventative work. Finally the pain won, and I took a Maxalt. It took a couple hours to kick in. It is now early afternoon and I am still not feeling so hot.

It is day 27 of my cycle I believe, and it is a day when I very often get a migraine. Almost always, in fact.

I am so frustrated. How long do I take the beta-blocker before I decide it's not working? I really do not want to have to take so much medication. I am trying the beta-blocker in the hopes that I won't have to take the Maxalt. I do not want to end up taking BOTH. Like I did today. argh.

I really have to explore the hormone thing some more. My doctor didn't think it would be a good idea for me to take synthetic hormones, so she suggested an IUD. Which... I don't think affects one's hormones at all. (Does it?) Anyway, I am not going to go that route. ugh. She is a general practitioner, not a gynecologist, so obviously I need to see someone who knows something about this!

Will write more when my brain is not so foggy.

left side, cycle day 27

Blockin my Beta

2010-02-02T08:02:00.000-08:00

I started taking the Propranolol Sunday evening. I'm starting out with a dose before bed, and then after 3 days I will move on to taking one in morning and one at night (as my doctor instructed). So tomorrow I will start taking 2 per day. I am going to try this for a month and see what happens (unless I cannot stand the side effects once I start with 2/day).

So far I do notice that I am a little more tired, but I could just be tired. Heh.

I do not like the idea of taking a chemical substance into my body every day, but then again if I had a chronic condition such as epilepsy or diabetes and had to take daily medication in order to not DIE, I would do it. Migraine disease doesn't seem as "serious" as epilepsy, at least not the form I have, but it does seriously affect my quality of life and relationships and all that. I am grateful that I do not have daily headaches, as many people do, but I am also not happy that I get them as frequently as I do.

In addition to the Propranolol I am also taking the B2 and magnesium every day, and trying really hard to walk every day, and do a little yoga too.

1/30/10

2010-01-31T16:40:00.001-08:00

Yesterday: spent the day hiking, felt okay. Had some wine with dinner! -- Which goes against my plan of not drinking any alcohol during "danger zone" times. Bad Squirky. When I got into bed at around 10:00 pm I started to feel that twinge behind my right eye, so I took a Maxalt, slept poorly, woke up feeling fine. Felt fine all day.

I think I might start taking the beta-blocker tonight, and see how that affects me. Stay tuned.

Was the migraine-coming-on because of the wine, the danger-zone time of my cycle, hiking all day, lots of socializing? Or...? Or everything combined?

cycle day 15

1/29/10

2010-01-29T08:16:00.000-08:00

Yesterday felt awful, but not migrainy. Just felt.... sick. I stayed home from work in the morning then managed to do my lessons in the afternoon. Thought maybe I was coming down with a bad cold. But by the end of the day did not really have any cold symptoms, and no fever or anything. Just.. no energy, kinda headachy, just BLAH.

This morning woke up thinking it was the middle of the night but it turned out to be 6. I really have no concept of time. And when there is no sunshine our room looks the same at 2 am and 7 am. ANYWAY... felt the wee twinge of migraine behind my left eye socket, so I took I Maxalt. We are supposed to go on a big hike this weekend and I do not want to miss it (although Mr G has a horrible cold so we might end up staying home anyway). I went back to sleep until about 7:30. Now it is 8:20. I am feeling very druggy. Heart racing. But no migraine. This is one of those times when I wonder if I really needed to take the Maxalt. It is so confusing. Maybe I could have managed without it. But then again sometimes I take it and get the migraine anyway.

At any rate, I will be going to work today. Hooray for me.

I still need to write down all my thoughts on medication versus "natural approach". I cannot think clearly enough right now. I'm pretty sure I want to do a combination of the two. But I have been so worried about all this medication lately. I saw my doctor on Tuesday and now I have a prescription of Propranolol sitting on my desk. I have not started taking it yet. I am feeling very wary. But it might help. After the hike I will try taking it, and at the same time start my research to find a naturopath or acupuncturist or ....?

Propranolol is a beta-blocker, commonly prescribed for high blood pressure and hypertension (or are those the same thing?). It slows the heart rate and lowers blood pressure. I do not have high blood pressure, in fact it is incredibly normal and healthy (or so I have been told). So I am a little bit worried about taking this medication. It is something that has to be taken every day, and it can be dangerous to stop taking it once it is started, and I don't really like the sound of that. But it is prescribed for migraine prevention and I guess people have good luck with it. It is also prescribed for performance anxiety in performers, which is interesting. And Mr G said it was prescribed to him once for anxiety of flying (along with Xanax).

But I am not convinced it is the right thing for me.

One of my friends told me she has been using Estrogen cream right before her period, and that has stopped her menstrual migraines completely. She really thinks I should try it. I have never heard of this. I did try Progesterone cream years ago, but can't say that it helped me. I tried to do a little research on the Estrogen cream on the Internets, but all I could find was ads for sellers and articles about how it causes uterine cancer. Lovely. More research is needed (and probably not on the Internet).

I do feel like balancing my hormones is probably one key to solving the migraines, but it seems so complicated. My doctor told me that it is dangerous for migraineurs to take birth control pills because of increased risk of stroke.

As usual, this is all very confusing and complicated, even more so as I try talking to different people about it.

My goal for the moment is just to get through today.

cycle day 14

Preparing for appointment

2010-01-25T20:06:00.000-08:00

I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. Unfortunately it's "just" with my P.C.P., and she doesn't really know shit about migraines. I plan to beg her to give me a referral to a "specialist". (Last time she said "oh, they don't want us to do that until we try to help you ourselves..." which means: here are the drugs YOU requested now go away please.)

The problem is that I don't really know what I want. Well, I do - I want my migraines to magically go away forever without any effort on my part. But since that is not going to happen, here are the options I know about currently (the options that I will probably have to suggest to my doctor since she won't know what to tell me):

1. Try a different medication and see if it works better than the Maxalt. Eh.

2. Take a "daily preventative" medication (which is something she asked me about last time I saw her). I really do not want to do this. I don't think I get the migraines frequently enough for the daily preventative anyway. Plus I have heard that it makes you stupid. I'm already stupid enough.

3. Try some sort of hormone therapy -- since my migraines are primarily hormonal, it makes sense. I'm nervous about possible side effects, however. (Not to mention possible increased risk of stroke, cancer, etc.) Plus I am still clinging onto one last desperate thread of hope that I might be able to have my own baby. I am losing grip on that hope, however. Being a 40-year-old-part-time-step-mom helps me in the process of letting go. So I don't know, maybe that is what I should try next.

I just need some professional advice. I feel like I am doing all that I am willing and able to do on my own: get exercise, watch my triggers, take supplements. I'm sure I can be doing more.

I did try acupuncture for a couple years. I feel like it didn't really help me. But part of that could be that I went to the acupuncture school here in town, so I wasn't being treated by seasoned practitioners. The students DID have support from their instructors, however. Plus, it is very expensive! Since I have medical insurance right now I feel like I should go the "western medicine" route.

Blah, it's all so confusing and annoying. I will just see what my doc says tomorrow.

8 steps reminder for myself!

2010-01-19T09:30:00.000-08:00

"Eight Steps to Wellness for Migraine Brains (and everybody else, too)" from my current migraine bible "The Migraine Brain" by Carolyn Bernstein, MD and Elaine McArdle:

1. Exercise - 1/2 hour day, at least 5 days per week

2. Sleep - 7-8 hours restful uninterrupted sleep (not too much, not too little)

3. Healthy Eating - high-fiber, high-protein foods, eat small amounts of food throughout the day to maintain blood sugar levels.

4. Stay Hydrated - At least six 8-ounce glasses of water a day.

5. Stress Reduction - meditation, deep breathing, yoga, etc. Simplify life, ask for help, learn to say no.

6. Social Relationships and Emotional Connections - Connect with other human beings.

7. Altruism - Help others.

8. Spirituality - through religion, nature, art, etc.

I will resist the temptation to analyze each step in a sarcastic and defeatist manner. I do feel pretty good about most of those steps, however. It's all good advice. I mostly need to work on exercise and drinking water. And stress reduction too. Oh and sleep. Hmm, eating too. And I could stand to be a little more altruistic. And, uh, spiritual. And, okay, social relationships. Damn!